Episode 2x8 - "Queen for a Day"
Director: Andrew Fleming
Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything...
00:01 - 00:04
and the one son who had no choice...
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but to keep them all together.
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George Michael was getting ready for school...
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when he came across a box oflove letters he'd written...
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but never sent to his cousin Maeby.
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One letter titled "If You Weren't My Cousin,"
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was particularly incriminating.
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Hey, pal, you want a ride to school?
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Um, no. Actually, I'm-
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I'm riding with the Veals, Ann's parents.
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You don't need to be penned up with them. I'll drive you both. We'll take the stairs.
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Right. Here's the thing though. It's kind of cramped in there.
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Plus, a lot ofkids are still talking about when you took down that homecoming banner.
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Listen, are you embarrassed to be seen in that car?
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It's not a car. But- But, no.
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I've got to get a new car.
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George Michael decided to hide the love letters in the attic...
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although Maeby had her own problems.
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After lying about her age...
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she had conned her way into a job as a movie studio executive.
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Did you get the stack of scripts that I sent you? 'Cause you certainly look well-rested.
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- Marry me. - Ha! I need your notes on those tomorrow.
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- Wanna have a drink? - Yeah. Why don't we ask your wife to come with us?
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Okay, then. I'll see you tomorrow.
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And downstairs, Buster paid a visit.
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- Hey, Brother. I need a favor. - Of course you do.
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I'm on furlough this week, and everybody's out dancing with their girl...
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- and I'm home sitting with Mom. - Mom doesn't wanna go dancing?
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I think the age difference is really starting to catch up to us.
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Maybe it's time you got out there and started meeting people, you know?
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Meetin' women. Meetin' women who didn't give birth to you.
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- Maybe you could go with me. - Not really what I meant- I have a very busy schedule now.
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My schedule, however, is as open as my relationship with my wife.
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So why don't we pair up?
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And-And hit the town together.
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- Oh. - I'll be your wingman.
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Even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up.
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Boy, that's enough family stuff for today.
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That's right, Michael. Guess whojust got fired.
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Gob was recently hired by the Bluth Company's rival...
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Sitwell Enterprises.
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- Although he started off well- - Fifty-two percent of the country is single.
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That's a market that's been dominated by apartment rentals.
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Let's take some of that market. I call it Single City.
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His ideas failed to evolve.
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It's like, "Hey, you wanna go down to the whirlpool?"
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"Yeah. I don't have a husband." I call it Swing City.
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Let's get into some new areas, if you don't mind.
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But Gob continued to fine-tune his first one.
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How do we filter out the teases?
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We don't let them in.
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This goes for the guys too...
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because sometimes the guys are tapped out.
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But check your lease, man, because you're livin' in- City.
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- You're fired. - So get this.
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I took his dress eyebrows.
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Sitwell suffered from a disease that rendered him completely hairless.
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He's not gonna be happy about that.
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No, especially when he goes to the opera with two mustaches on his forehead.
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Oh, but the good news is: I'm coming back to the Bluth Company.
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Gob, we're gettin' all jammed up here, okay?
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The only reason that you were president was to appease the board.
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They've been appeased. I got the job.
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No, I don't need to be president. I just liked having an office, a title.
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- Sure. - Paycheck.
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Also I need a company car. You do have to match Sitwell there.
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Hang on. He gave you a company car?
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Yeah. And it was way better than any of the company cars Dad ever gave me.
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- Yeah, right. - I mean, the Camaro was okay.
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Are you serious? Dad gave you the Camaro?
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I thought you won that on Card Sharks.
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Michael, I was never on Card Sharks. Dad told us not to tell you.
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Michael decided to confront his father...
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who'd been living in the attic since he'd escaped from prison.
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- Dad? - Oh, thank God you're here.
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I'm going crazy with the boredom, Michael.
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At least in prison, we had knife fights, and we had movie night.
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And once both. Those men did not enjoy Soapdish. I think you have to know that world.
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Yeah, listen, did you buy a company car for everyone in the family except me?
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Well, according to the books, I gave you four.
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I'm serious. I'm driving a staircase, for God's sake.
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It smells like gas. I get hop-ons.
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- Well, of course you're gonna get hop-ons. - I pull down banners, all right?
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And most importantly, Dad, my son does not like to be seen in it.
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But he likes being seen with that girl.
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- It makes no sense, I know. - It doesn't.
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I never gave you a-a company car.
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No, I gave you something far more important.
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I gave you company, which, apparently, you don't want to give to me.
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- You're not listening to me. I'd love to sit and chat, but... - I'm lonely up here.
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I've got to get an early start. I'm expecting headwinds on the stair car.
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You see anybody here? You could bring me a book. Pop-Pop gets a Grisham?
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So you take your mom to work every day? Bummer.
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Moms are such a pain in the ass, huh? It's like "Die already!"
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- I love my mother. - Huh?
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She's one of the two most important people in my life.
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You know, she and Quincy.
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A spokesman for Mr. Jones denies they've ever met...
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although he could not explain the six signed gold records in Starla's apartment.
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I could never be with a man who doesn't love his mother.
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- Oh. - Wow.
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So, Michael, listen. I'm here to convince you to hire me back.
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I'm an ideas man, Michael. I think I proved that with- Mountain.
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Listen, I want this, Michael.
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I'm gonna prove to you that I'm worthy of rehiring...
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if it takes every ounce of determination that I've got.
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Where are you going?
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Did you want me to stay and do that?
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- Barry. - Good news and even better news.
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Your company's stock is unfrozen...
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and my lawsuit against the L.A. Kings is moving forward.
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- How did that happen? - Maybe a puck hit me. It could happen.
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No, the stock. Now, that means we can sell, right? We can do whatever we want with it?
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I'll tell you one thing you don't want to do is buy stock in the L.A. Kings.
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Do you think I could sell enough to buy a car?
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I thought you had four. Oh, you mean a real one. Yeah, sure.
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You can get one, as long as everyone doesn't sell the company stock at once.
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You don't want someone else to get control of the company.
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Right. Gotta keep the company intact, right? The other people shouldn't risk selling their-
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Maybe you can draft up a letter to the investors:
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"Yes, the stock is unfrozen. We urge you not to sell."
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Uh, yeah. Wh-What you just said was perfect. Why do you want me to write it?
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Just send it out on your stationery. And do it quickly. I have a car to buy.
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Meanwhile, Maeby snuck upstairs to secretly read her scripts.
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Ow! Back to film school-
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And George Sr. Was only too happy to have something to read.
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Armageddon."
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That's a bad title.
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Meanwhile, Michael went to get a good deal on a modest company car.
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Oh, something like this? We have, like, 400 of these.
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L- I don't need anything too popular.
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Oh, they're not popular. We have 400 of them.
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Sold.
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Although, uh, I'm wondering if maybe it should just be a little bit nicer.
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I got a kid, and safety's kind of a factor. But nothing too flashy.
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This is it, isn't it? I can tell. You're excited.
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- I am. - I'll draw up the papers.
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Unless you think it's too drab.
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And it gets very good mileage.
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Yeah, well, it, uh- it looks light.
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You know, I'm not so concerned about mileage.
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I spent the last 10 years on a bike, with the exception of the stair car.
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Oh, you're the stair car guy. You took down our banner.
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Yeah. Sorry. I got a hop-on.
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I got distracted. I hate this.
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I like these sunglasses. They come with any car?
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Just this one. They throw these extras at you because it's so impractical.
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No back seat. It attracts so many tickets...
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the insurance alone costs as much as the last three cars we saw.
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The windbreaker? Windbreaker comes with it too?
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I guess. I don't know. I've never sold one of these before, so-
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I'll take it.
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Michael had just indulged himself with an expensive sports car-
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And here again, please.
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While Buster indulged in a night out with Tobias.
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This place is exactly what I had hoped for.
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- All ladies. - Mmm.
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Well, I've heard that this uniform is the best way to meet-
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- Lucille 2! - Buster!
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- So you're back. - Oh, I'm back, Buster!
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- Yeah? - And I am rock steady! No more dizzies.
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Lucille Austero had just returned...
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from a month-long stay at a facility that specialized in the treatment of vertigo.
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Ah. Ah, just a minute. You're okay.
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You're okay. You're okay. We're okay. We're okay!
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Somebody'll be here in a second. We're okay. We're okay.
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I am stable as a table.
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So, is there a- a girl in your life?
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Well, I would hardly call my mother a girl.
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But, yeah, she's still very much a part of my life.
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No, I mean, uh, someone who makes you hear music.
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Oh. Well, she mostly likes talk radio.
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I mean, a girl who makes you feel romantic...
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and also who makes you hear beautiful music.
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Oh. No.
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I guess what I'm trying to say is-
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Everybody thinks they're Frank Sinatra.
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- Maybe we could start anew.
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And later, Michael got an urgent call from his mother.
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He's with her again. Buster's taken up with that Lucille 2.
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That's why you called me here?
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I've got my secretary bringing over a bunch of important papers.
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- I thought this was urgent. - Well, it's all your fault.
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You're the one who insisted he get away from Mother.
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Well, I wasn't trying to send him to a new one. Where is he?
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He's on the balcony.
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Buster?
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Mom's becoming a little controlling.
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What tripped you off? When she locked you out on the balcony again?
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That was half my fault. I thought I saw a graham cracker out there.
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- You baited the balcony? - Prove it.
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So I don't typically take sides with Mother...
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but l-l-I do agree that Lucille 2...
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might not be the best choice for you.
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I wouldn't even have been there if Mom wanted to go bowling.
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How am I gonna meet someone who has my interests?
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- Hi, Michael. - Hey. Great.
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- I have those papers for you to sign. - Perfect.
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By the way, I love your mother.
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- Oh, yeah, I do too. - Oh.
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I think I may have found a new girl for Buster.
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Good. That Lucille isn't really interested in Buster anyway.
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- She's just trying to get even with me. - Get even with you for what?
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She wanted me to let in her remodeling crew while she was out of town.
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Wait a minute. This tub's a little bigger than it used to be.
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It was. Instead ofletting the construction crew...
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- into Lucille Austero's penthouse- - Come right in.
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Lucille had put them to work on a project ofher own.
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- What'd you do? - Well, I sat on one of these jets.
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- But I think we can fix it. - Don't give me that look.
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I moved the wall a couple of inches into her penthouse.
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Don't think she's not over there right now, plotting her revenge.
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God, the new equilibrium really does-
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It makes the room seem tighter.
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She's always a step ahead of me.
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That's what makes her such a worthy opponent.
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- How'd you pay for it? - I cashed in some stock. You knew it was unfrozen.
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I know. I sent you that letter. It says not to sell, or we're gonna lose control.
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It does? I stopped at "unfrozen."
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Lindsay, you didn't cash in your stock, did you? Tell me you didn't.
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- I didn't. - Yet.
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There's a pretty long wait list for membership right now.
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Gob, you didn't sell, did you?
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What? No. I'm trying to get a job from you, Mikey. Come on.
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Okay. As long as you two didn't sell, I think we should be okay.
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- I was afraid that l- - I just bought the Queen Mary.
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You're kidding. I was just gonna get a yacht.
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No, no, no. The club. I was dancing with what turned out to be the club's owner...
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and he was looking to sell.
12:06 - 12:09
Oh, he really, really did look like a woman.
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But anyhoo, can you believe that the only reason the club is going under...
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is because it's in a terrifying neighborhood?
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- This is unbelievable. - Tobias, I promised that money to the country club.
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- Country club? - It's in such a good neighborhood.
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I don't believe this. Did you guys not read the letter?
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None of them had read past the word "unfrozen."
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I hope you're all proud of yourselves.
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Your careless, selfish spending sprees may have cost us the Bluth Company.
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Hey, Dad, is that your new car in the driveway?
12:35 - 12:37
I can't believe you got a Corvette!
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It's a company car.
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Michael had bought a car...
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and it had helped put the company in jeopardy.
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I'm sorry about the patch. I'm testifying against the Kings this afternoon.
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You can't see it. I just winked.
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So basically, you're about 2,000 shares short...
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of being the majority stockholders.
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Now unfortunately, it's a private stock...
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so you cannotjust buy up the shares unless someone is willing to sell.
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- Are you sure? - That's what they said on AskJeeves.
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- All right, who's the majority shareholder now? - A company called Standpoor.
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- Standpoor? - As in the opposite of Sitwell...
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which is run by a certain hairless man...
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who could be very upset with you right now.
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What would he have to be upset with me about?
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- You're wearing his eyebrows? - They make me feel dressier.
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- Hello? - Is it true, Michael? Did we lose the company?
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Kind of. To something called Standpoor. Yeah, it's Sitwell.
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- It's Lucille Austero. - Lucille 2?
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Standpoor, because she can't stand up without falling over.
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I don't know why she'd have any trouble. A piano could stand on those legs.
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She's trying to get even with me for the remodeling.
13:52 - 13:54
I think we're gonna need a new floating thermometer.
13:54 - 13:58
Could I have your- your Blue Cross number?
13:58 - 14:00
Well, let's think about this, Mom. I mean, maybe there's a way that we can reason with her-
14:00 - 14:05
- Give her Buster. - What?
14:05 - 14:07
- We need our company back. - Mom, that's horrible.
14:07 - 14:10
I don't suppose you've spent money on something you can return?
14:10 - 14:14
- Sweet ride, dude. - Let's give her Buster.
14:14 - 14:15
Starla, do you know where my brother is?
14:17 - 14:19
Yes, he's on cloud nine. That was me, Michael.
14:19 - 14:21
What's going on? Where's Starla?
14:21 - 14:24
Oh, she's saying good-bye to someone named Q.
14:24 - 14:26
If she can get past his security system, she's gonna tell him it's over.
14:26 - 14:29
If she can get past his security system, she's gonna tell him it's over.
14:29 - 14:30
She's amazing.
14:30 - 14:32
We completely connected. And it's all because of you.
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You made this happen.
14:36 - 14:39
I feel alive!
14:39 - 14:41
Indeed, Starla and Buster did hit it off well-
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Buster being a sweeter, more supportive man than she was used to...
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and Starla being a woman that wasn't 70.
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I'm just wondering if you didn't upgrade a little too fast.
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You know, you want something sensible, you end up getting pushed into something flashy.
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What does that mean?
15:01 - 15:03
Don't you think you belong in a Lucille?
15:03 - 15:05
Maeby, meanwhile, gave reading her script another shot...
15:11 - 15:14
only to discover her work was done.
15:14 - 15:17
Her scripts had been noted.
15:17 - 15:20
So she went to find the person she thought was responsible.
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George Michael, I read your notes.
15:23 - 15:25
What? You- Oh, you found the-
15:25 - 15:28
- Well, look, I don't-That was a long- - They were great.
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I mean, they said so many things I wanted to say, but I didn't know how, you know?
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Don't tell anyone, okay?
15:35 - 15:37
Never.
15:37 - 15:39
I guess she didn't see the drawings.
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Meanwhile, Tobias prepared to assume ownership of the Queen Mary.
15:45 - 15:49
No, no. It's supposed to say "Tobias's Queen Mary."
15:49 - 15:52
No, that is not what it says. I distinct- Hello?
15:52 - 15:56
Well, I suppose I could just paint over "Mary."
15:58 - 16:00
Don't bother, man. This is our club now.
16:00 - 16:03
Tobias didn't want to sell his new club, but Lindsay did.
16:07 - 16:11
Which is why she hired several members of a local stripper agency...
16:11 - 16:15
called the Hot Cops to pose as the roughnecks.
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All right, fellas, look. I know you know nothing but a life on the street...
16:18 - 16:22
but I'd like to offer you something that the Queen Mary gave me.
16:22 - 16:25
The joy of the stage.
16:25 - 16:27
So maybe you could, uh, start jeté-ing...
16:27 - 16:30
and stop "je-terrorizing" me.
16:30 - 16:33
- Yeah! - Absolutely!
16:33 - 16:36
- We could do Rent. - Well, this is joyous news.
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And Buster, now convinced that Lucille 2...
16:39 - 16:42
was the right woman for him, broke up with Starla.
16:42 - 16:46
You okay?
16:47 - 16:49
It was for the best anyway.
16:49 - 16:52
A girl like that deserves to be taken care of, and I'm just a poor soldier.
16:52 - 16:56
You didn't sell your stock?
16:56 - 16:58
What? No. Your letter said not to...
16:58 - 17:01
and I would never want to hurt the family.
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And Michael realized his little brother...
17:04 - 17:06
deserved happiness more than anyone.
17:06 - 17:09
You know, uh, I want you to forget about what I said.
17:09 - 17:11
I was wrong. You two belong together.
17:12 - 17:13
I'll take care of Lucille 2 for you.
17:14 - 17:16
- Really? - Yeah.
17:16 - 17:18
Let her down easy. That right knee could go at any time.
17:18 - 17:22
Starla!
17:22 - 17:25
And at the "Tobias is Queen Mary"...
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Tobias couldn't believe how quickly he had gotten through...
17:28 - 17:30
to his ragtag gang of neighborhood toughs.
17:31 - 17:35
Wow. You really have made some amazing strides in a half an hour.
17:35 - 17:39
We have to take this to the streets.
17:39 - 17:41
We have to strut!
17:41 - 17:44
Michael knew ifhe had any chance...
17:44 - 17:46
of getting control of the company again...
17:46 - 17:48
- he would need to charm Lucille 2. - Lucille 2.
17:48 - 17:51
- Your hair! - Can I take you for a spin?
17:51 - 17:53
But the spin in Michael's new car retriggered her vertigo.
17:53 - 17:57
That night, Tobias's plan to change the streets with his gang...
17:57 - 18:01
also turned out to be ill-conceived.
18:01 - 18:04
Hey, "fezellas,"looks like you guys are up to no good.
18:04 - 18:07
Well, this gang used to be like that too- three, four!
18:07 - 18:12
So you think you're tough Well, we hate rappin'
18:12 - 18:15
But don't bust a cap in 'Cause here's what's happenin'
18:15 - 18:18
We're breakin'out some old-fashioned tappin'
18:18 - 18:21
Oh, I've been shot!
18:23 - 18:25
- We miscalculated! Retreat! - Quick, switch to Follies!
18:25 - 18:28
That's not gonna help!
18:28 - 18:31
Meanwhile, Michael and Lucille 2 arrived to find the club nearly empty.
18:31 - 18:35
Although Michael would have fit in perfectly.
18:35 - 18:37
Something? It's probably- I'll tell you what, Lucille.
18:37 - 18:40
- I'm gonna take you dancing, huh? - No, Michael, please.
18:40 - 18:43
You have undone all of Dr. Sandor Plumb's work.
18:43 - 18:46
Oh, I'm sorry. Look, the reason that I showed up tonight...
18:46 - 18:51
was because I don't think that it's right for you to be dating my brother.
18:51 - 18:55
I mean, he's met someone else, and, frankly...
18:55 - 18:58
the only reason that he asked you out tonight...
18:58 - 19:00
was because I wanted him to get the stock back from you...
19:00 - 19:03
so that I could regain control of the company.
19:03 - 19:06
But I would- I'd rather have my brother back.
19:06 - 19:09
So- I'm sorry.
19:09 - 19:12
- I understand. - Thank you.
19:12 - 19:14
And I do not blame you for not liking the Bluths anymore.
19:14 - 19:19
Like the Bluths? I love the Bluths.
19:19 - 19:22
- Why did you buy up all of our company stock? - To support you guys.
19:22 - 19:26
I have always had a standing order to buy up any available Bluth stock.
19:26 - 19:32
You do know that we're about 2,000 shares short of controlling the company now.
19:32 - 19:35
- Well, you could have some of mine. - Really? Would you do that?
19:36 - 19:39
- Yeah, of course. - Well, that's-Thank you.
19:39 - 19:42
- Actually, there is a condition. - Anything.
19:42 - 19:44
- Call me a cab. - Ah, because of my driving. Yes.
19:44 - 19:49
And so the next day...
19:49 - 19:51
Michael was thrilled to have control of the company back.
19:51 - 19:54
- I fixed everything. - Oh?
19:54 - 19:56
With the business. It's all taken care of.
19:56 - 19:59
- You didn't think I could, but I did. - Gob, what'd you do?
19:59 - 20:03
Hi. - Gob had run into Lucille 2 after Michael dropped her off.
20:03 - 20:07
My mom really took up a bunch of your space, huh?
20:07 - 20:09
- What a bitch. - What do you mean?
20:09 - 20:12
When she expanded her bathroom and moved your wall over.
20:12 - 20:15
That's why all your stuff s sticking out.
20:15 - 20:18
Oh.
20:18 - 20:20
Your mother really has a way of getting my goat.
20:20 - 20:26
So Gob- Lucille 2.
20:26 - 20:28
- You what? - Oh, and she's not gonna give the shares back now.
20:28 - 20:32
- You just said that you fixed everything. - Oh, I meant my problems.
20:32 - 20:35
Yeah, she's gonna make me the new president.
20:35 - 20:38
You don't need to prove yourself to me, little brother.
20:39 - 20:43
You will always have a job here.
20:43 - 20:46
But I do need the keys to the company car.
20:46 - 20:49
On the next Arrested Development-
20:51 - 20:54
Lucille 2 reclaims some space.
20:54 - 20:57
The Queen Mary changes hands once again.
20:59 - 21:02
L-I've wanted a small family restaurant since I got the Kings settlement.
21:02 - 21:06
It still has the dungeon area, right?
21:06 - 21:09
And Gob gets needy.
21:09 - 21:11
- Oh. - Let's go for it.
21:11 - 21:13