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Episode 3x3 - "Forget-Me-Now"

Director: John Amodeo

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Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything...

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and the one son who had no choice...

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but to keep them all together.

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It's Arrested Development.

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Michael Bluth and his family were meeting with their new attorney.

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Look, this is not the first time I've been brought in to replace Barry Zuckerkorn.

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I think I can do for you everything he did...

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plus skew younger... with juries and so forth.

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Any other questions?

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Yes. How can you be even cuter in person than you are in your ads?

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Are you a CEO, CFO or other executive...

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facing these or similar charges?

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You don't need double-talk. You need Bob Loblaw.

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Well, we're not here to talk nonsense to Bob Loblaw.

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We need to find out if the government has a good case against us.

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I mean, there is a lot of proof that my father was building houses in Iraq.

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Well, your father claims he was put up to it by a British syndicate.

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- And you've been threatened. Isn't that correct? - It was.

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How would you like someone going after some stupid person in your family?

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Now, back off, you!@%$# ponce!

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It's been a week. Nothing's happened.

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Yeah, but you're not the one stuck under house arrest like a sitting duck.

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Oh, yeah. That's my father.

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That's why we had the meeting here... so he couldn't interfere.

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Interfere? I oughta pull down your pants and spank your ass raw.

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I'm sorry. Have we met?

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Oh, yes. This is Larry Middleman. He's your father's surrogate.

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- Surrogate? - That's right, you dumb!@%$.

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I hired this guy to wear a camera in his hat...

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so he could be my eyes and ears while I'm stuck in this penthouse.

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This camera helps me keep tabs on you idiots...

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while this thing rubs my ankle raw.

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- I mean, look at this thing. - I can't even go in the hallway...

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- Without hearing that... - Beep, beep, beep.

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That's one of my partners. Excuse me.

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Uh, I would like to be one of your partners.

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Do you think he got that? The two meanings?

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He's running pretty fast. I think he did.

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Well, he was flirting earlier. I'll tell you that.

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Just so you know, I'm looking to get divorced.

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- Are you interested? - Yes.

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Let's call that a half hour.

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- So you're not the only one who's got a date later. - You've got a date?

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Her name's Rita. She teaches children at a private school, and we're just having lunch.

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Oh, lunch. Well, you better bring some dog food.

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All the girls you date are dogs. Dogs love dog food, right, Pop?

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Shut up, you idiot. I'm trying to watch the game.

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Just trying to make you laugh, Dad.

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- It's all I ever wanted. - Smith the catcher...

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You know, Gob, she's not a dog. It's just the opposite actually.

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She's exquisitely beautiful. She's fun, carefree, smart, full of surprises.

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Including the fact that she was working with this man...

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who was currently dropping her off for her date.

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Now all this fun and carefree act is only gonna fool him for so long.

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- I'm a big girl. - Yeah. Well, if he finds out what you really are...

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he might not make things so simple for you.

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Rita, don't forget your hat.

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- Who am I kidding? She's too good for me. - How do you think I feel?

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Bob Loblaw's a handsome, professional man...

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and I'm only used to... well, none of those things.

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Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over?

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An analyst and a therapist. The world's first "analrapist."

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Yes, and you were almost arrested for those business cards.

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Yes. No, it did not look good on paper, but I didn't stop because of the police inquiries.

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I stopped to raise our little daughter.

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But since we both have started to grow hair in unexpected places...

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I suppose I shall soon be working as a leading man...

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and she may soon start dating.

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Maeby had already started dating.

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Another date with, uh, Steve Holt?

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Yeah. We're gettin' pretty serious.

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They weren't. She was just avoiding her real crush on George Michael.

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That Steve sure knows how to please a lady.

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Good. I was hoping he would be gifted sexually.

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I guess it makes sense. You know, uh, older guys expect certain things.

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- They do? - What a fun, sexy time for you.

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I'd be very careful of these British people.

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They're gonna try to get their hands on any evidence they can to hurt the family.

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So you're saying shred the evidence?

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No, that's illegal. The prosecution is entitled to that evidence.

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- Without it, they don't have a case. - So shred the evidence?

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That's a felony. And I certainly couldn't endorse anything like that.

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Got ya. Wink.

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- Or did you wink? - He said that too, Dad.

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We'll talk soon, folks. Thank you.

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Where are you going? Where is the surrogate going?

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Stay there. I want to see what he's gonna say. Don't leave.

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See ya, Pop.

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You know, Gob, instead of trying to impress your fake father...

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maybe you should spend some time with your real son.

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- Steve Holt's not my son. - Steve Holt? The moron jock?

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That's my son, you pothead.

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- Hey, that's my son! - Wait. So that means that Steve Holt is my cousin?

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- And Maeby's cousin too. - I guess. Shoot, I'm late for my date.

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Yeah. At the kennel!

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You lobbed that one right over the plate, Michael. Home run.

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And Michael hurried to the British section of Orange County for his date.

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Crazy American! Get out of the road!

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Only to find that Rita had chosen Wee Britain's one American-themed restaurant.

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Oh, hello. I'm sorry I'm late.

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Oh, no bother. I've been having such fun on this spaceship.

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Strike one, huh? Shall we go ahead and sit down?

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Hey, dudes, I'll get you a couple of 64-ounce colas...

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to wash down this basket of doughnuts...

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I guess this is what the British think of Americans.

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- We like our food. - Whatever do you mean?

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Yeah.

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Uh, you know, uh, Rita, you're gonna figure this out eventually...

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but I have not been on a date in a long, long time.

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- Neither have I. - I wonder why.

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I'll bet men ask you out constantly.

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Not men like you. I seem to only meet little boys.

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Part of that might be that you spend your day at a preschool.

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And they think the stupidest things are funny.

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Yeah, that's a cultural problem is what it is, you know.

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Your average American male is in a perpetual state of adolescence...

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you know, arrested development.

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Hey, that's the name of the show!

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No attention span. You know, can't even carry on a typical conver...

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Michael thought he spotted the man who'd threatened him earlier.

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Well, I'm gettin' back on the space shuttle.

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No, no, no. Sorry. Sorry. Sit, please.

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Let's talk about you. Tell me about your family.

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Well, they're pushy, bossy, want to control me.

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What about your family? I'd love to meet your family.

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Michael knew from experience...

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that this would not turn out well.

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Once or twice a week, we get a...

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Have a little more.

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If you like the small, why don't you come back for the medium?

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Right? You can see that, right?

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I probably should warn you about my mother.

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- Hi. - Let's start behind the fridge.

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So he came up with a solution so simple...

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he wondered why he'd never told anyone it before.

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I don't have a family.

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I can't believe I've never told anybody that before.

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That's so sad.

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Yes, sad. Super sad. Shall we eat?

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Michael had started a relationship...

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by lying about the existence of his family.

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I think this went really well, huh?

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- Maybe sometime we can have dinner? - Could I see your house?

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Michael was caught off-guard by the question.

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No. No. I... I can't do that.

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- Okay, bye-bye. - Uh, bye.

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And he vowed not to be caught off-guard again.

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I didn't mean that we...

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So did he invite you over, then?

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Not yet, but he will.

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So Michael went back to work.

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Hey, who brought in the wood...

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Gob, you can't shred this evidence. You'll end up in jail.

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Dad told me to. How can I say no to that face?

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Get this stuff out of here and put it somewhere where Dad can't get to it.

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- Are you in on this too? - No, I'm just here to go out to lunch with your father.

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And he said he's never felt more free in his life.

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- I'm like a bird up there. - Did you tell him about my medal?

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- Medal? What for? - Oh, who knows what they were saying.

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- Do you agree? Say thank you. - Thank you. Wow.

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- I have so many people to thank. - Private Asher, step forward!

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It's probably because a seal bit off his hand.

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The army has taken to giving medals for being food.

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- Just then... - Look at him go tied to that deck chair!

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It's so simple. My ankle monitor...

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only goes off when I go out the front door.

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We need balloons. A party!

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- We need to throw a party for... - Buster's stupid thing.

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Larry, go get some balloons.

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And Michael found a way to get Rita to his house after all.

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That's a great idea. Honor Buster tomorrow night.

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We'll get the whole family over to the penthouse, show him our support.

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Well, I suppose it's better than drinking alone. What time?

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Doesn't matter to me. I can't be there. I've got a date with Rita.

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Well, Mom's probably right. I couldn't stand up to a seal.

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I don't really deserve a medal or a party.

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No, you deserve this. Here, take my business card.

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No, no. It's pronounced "a-nalra-pist."

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It wasn't really the pronunciation that bothered me.

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You see, Buster, it wasn't the seal that you couldn't stand up to.

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It was Lucille.

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Oh, I'm getting chills.

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If this was a Lifetime moment of truth movie...

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this would be our act break.

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But it wasn't.

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And later, Lindsay was on the phone with Bob Loblaw.

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I love Tobias, but he's never fulfilled me sexually.

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Can you catalog for me the various ways...

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you'd been promised to be fulfilled...

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whether or not said promise was made explicit?

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- You want me to be explicit? - Yes.

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But I will be needing to get off in four minutes.

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Well, let's see if I can't hit that target for you.

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The next day, on the way to pick up Rita...

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Michael stopped by his house to make sure there were no signs of his family...

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only to discover there was nothing but.

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- What the hell is all this? - Gob brought all this stuff in.

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And, Mom, what is with all the family photos?

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Oh, I'm teaching Buster to stand up for himself.

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- I'm surrogating your mother. - By wearing her sealskin coat?

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Michael, I have tried on everything, and nothing seems to be working.

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I thought the Donna Karan worked. You just didn't have the right shoes.

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Look, I've gotta get rid of any evidence of my family, including you guys.

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Get outta here!

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See? Now, that's how you stand up to Mother.

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Meanwhile, worried about Steve Holt's...

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sexual expectations, Maeby tried to cancel her date.

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My whole family and I now have to go to my grandma's house...

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- because my uncle lost his hand. - Awesome!

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So you and I can party alone at your house.

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Maeby was too young to know what to do.

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Ironically, in her after-school job as a movie studio executive...

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she’d just green-lit two films that dealt with the very issue.

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- Rock the house. - All right.

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George Michael also didn't know what to do.

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If he pointed out that the two were cousins to drive them apart...

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he might be burning the very bridge that he one day hoped to cross.

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- I'm doing your cousin tonight. - So are you.

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- What? - She's your cousin too.

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Back at the penthouse, party preparations were under way.

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He's not wearing that to the party. I've got the exact same thing.

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No, he was just "analraping" me. Then Michael barged in...

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and kicked us out so he could shred all the evidence.

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- Shred the evidence? - I thought he didn't want us to do that.

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He didn't want us to get into trouble. He's taking the heat.

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He's doing that for us? And on the night of his date with Rita.

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Who he didn't want to bring over here. Probably because...

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let's face it... you people haven't been great with the others.

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Well, in our defense, Mom, we're not exactly dog people.

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- We've got to start being nicer. - I'm starting right now.

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- Buster, the party's not for you anymore. - Oh, okay.

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It's a "welcome Rita" party.

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I know where she works. We can pick her up and surprise her.

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You're so right. This is better than a party for me.

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Oh, come on. Grow a pair.

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You know, we need some weather balloons for this party, and maybe a tank of hydrogen.

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You know, really float those suckers.

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Meanwhile, Michael was hiding the evidence...

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wherever he could when he heard from his brother.

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Hey, friend. Gob here. We really want you at the party.

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We're really nice now. And, God, we love you.

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Damn it.

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- big enough to hold them all. - Hey, hey. Excuse me. Rita?

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- I'm Rita. - We're here to pick you up for Michael.

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Uh, you can just go in the cabin.

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- Michael? - Oh, he's not here.

12:45 - 12:49

S3E03: 771083

- We're his family. - Oh, his family.

12:49 - 12:52

S3E03: 774291

- We're nice. - I'm sorry. I have to leave.

12:52 - 12:55

S3E03: 777250

Oh, no, you cannot leave. Drive, Lindsay!

12:56 - 12:58

S3E03: 780041

- Bye! - We're doing this for Michael.

12:58 - 13:01

S3E03: 782666

- Stop her, Buster. - What am I supposed to do?

13:01 - 13:03

S3E03: 785541

- Stop her! - Stop yelling at me! - I'm leaving!

13:03 - 13:07

S3E03: 788250

And that's when Buster noticed the seal on Rita's backpack.

13:07 - 13:09

S3E03: 798750

Hey, talk about cathartic. Now, that's an act break.

13:17 - 13:20

S3E03: 805958

Buster had overcome his fear of seals.

13:24 - 13:27

S3E03: 809041

Unfortunately, he'd done so by knocking out Michael's new girlfriend.

13:27 - 13:30

S3E03: 812166

- What the hell did you do? - You curious, Mom?

13:30 - 13:33

S3E03: 814958

- I can show you. - Uh, you made a mistake.

13:33 - 13:36

S3E03: 817708

You're human. Except for the hand.

13:36 - 13:39

S3E03: 820958

It's okay. She's alive. And soft. Soft and alive.

13:39 - 13:42

S3E03: 824500

All right, let's not add that to the charges. What'll we do?

13:42 - 13:46

S3E03: 827500

She's gonna tell Michael. And he won't hear the good stuff.

13:46 - 13:48

S3E03: 830083

He'll just hear about the beating.

13:48 - 13:50

S3E03: 832750

Wait. Maybe we can give her a "forget-me-now." Here you go, hot dog.

13:51 - 13:54

S3E03: 835583

- Take the pill. - What's a forget-me-now?

13:54 - 13:56

S3E03: 838083

They're pills that create a sort of temporary "forgettiness."

13:57 - 13:59

S3E03: 841416

If somebody finds out how you do a trick, you give them one, and they forget the whole thing.

13:59 - 14:02

S3E03: 844083

- Oh. - It's a mainstay of the magician's tool kit.

14:02 - 14:05

S3E03: 846375

Like how clowns always have a rag soaked in ether.

14:05 - 14:07

S3E03: 849208

Gob, this is flunitrazepam. It's a roofie.

14:07 - 14:10

S3E03: 852208

- Those are illegal! - Shut up, Mom.

14:10 - 14:13

S3E03: 854375

Don't make me give you another one of these.

14:13 - 14:15

S3E03: 858541

Lindsay, help me! Three!

14:17 - 14:20

S3E03: 865125

Back at the house, Michael finished his work...

14:23 - 14:26

S3E03: 866958

and, now late, rushed to pick up Rita.

14:26 - 14:28

S3E03: 870500

Moments later, Maeby prepared to tell Steve she wasn't ready for romance.

14:28 - 14:32

S3E03: 874041

Well, this sends a mixed message.

14:32 - 14:35

S3E03: 876083

Just as Steve showed up to call things off with his cousin.

14:35 - 14:38

S3E03: 879583

- You did all this for me? - Yes.

14:38 - 14:40

S3E03: 883208

Well, I'm gonna go get sexy.

14:40 - 14:44

S3E03: 888291

And Michael missed Rita.

14:47 - 14:49

S3E03: 893250

Damn it. Strike two.

14:51 - 14:54

S3E03: 897083

Take it down. We don't want anything that says Rita.

14:56 - 14:58

S3E03: 900541

Hi. It's Michael. I will be coming to the party...

14:58 - 15:01

S3E03: 903250

because I love you too.

15:01 - 15:04

S3E03: 906083

Okay. We need a new banner.

15:04 - 15:07

S3E03: 908875

And that's when Michael found Rita.

15:07 - 15:10

S3E03: 911250

Rita.

15:10 - 15:12

S3E03: 913583

- Why am I on a bus bench, Michael? - I get it.

15:12 - 15:14

S3E03: 916916

I'm sorry. But the rest of the night's gonna be all about you, I promise.

15:14 - 15:18

S3E03: 920000

Great. Great.

15:19 - 15:20

S3E03: 922166

I am gonna have to make one quick stop, maybe you'd just wait in the car.

15:21 - 15:23

S3E03: 924666

It's just gonna be two seconds, I promise.

15:23 - 15:25

S3E03: 927375

And so Michael raced up to pay his quick respects to Buster.

15:25 - 15:28

S3E03: 930291

Ah, there he is... my favorite son.

15:28 - 15:31

S3E03: 932875

- Everybody's favorite son! - Mr. Wonderful!

15:31 - 15:34

S3E03: 935791

Well, I had a great time. I wish I could've stayed longer.

15:34 - 15:37

S3E03: 939041

This is a great party, huh? Tell Buster I stopped by, please.

15:37 - 15:40

S3E03: 941708

- I do have to leave. - Oh, no, no, no.

15:40 - 15:42

S3E03: 944375

The party is not for Buster anymore.

15:42 - 15:45

S3E03: 946916

- No, Michael. It's for you. - Me.

15:45 - 15:47

S3E03: 949416

Take a look at banner, Michael!

15:47 - 15:50

S3E03: 952666

You guys did all of this for me? "Family love"...

15:50 - 15:54

S3E03: 956291

- Michael? - Everyone froze.

15:54 - 15:57

S3E03: 959750

Michael feared he'd been caught in a lie about his family.

15:57 - 16:01

S3E03: 962625

His family feared they'd been caught...

16:01 - 16:03

S3E03: 965625

by a woman they clubbed, drugged and left on a bench.

16:03 - 16:07

S3E03: 968583

It was awkward.

16:07 - 16:09

S3E03: 971000

- Who's this? - Mother! Mother!

16:09 - 16:12

S3E03: 974083

This is from the army. I have to report for duty tomorrow!

16:12 - 16:15

S3E03: 976750

It says by accepting this medal, I was reenlisting.

16:15 - 16:17

S3E03: 979000

I didn't hear them say that.

16:18 - 16:19

S3E03: 980125

Perhaps if the sergeant had spoken more slowly, she would have.

16:20 - 16:22

S3E03: 988250

If you agree with this, say thank you.

16:28 - 16:30

S3E03: 991708

Thank you.

16:30 - 16:32

S3E03: 994250

What am I gonna do? I can't go back there. I've never been!

16:32 - 16:35

S3E03: 997458

- Who are these people? - This is my family.

16:35 - 16:39

S3E03: 1000458

No. No. I don't like these people.

16:39 - 16:41

S3E03: 1003250

Me. You mean... She means me. Because I lied...

16:41 - 16:44

S3E03: 1006708

about having a family, because I was embarrassed by them.

16:44 - 16:48

S3E03: 1009791

And I'm ashamed of that.

16:48 - 16:50

S3E03: 1011625

I have to leave.

16:50 - 16:52

S3E03: 1016541

Strike three.

16:55 - 16:57

S3E03: 1019000

You said you didn't have a family?

16:57 - 17:00

S3E03: 1022458

- Everybody's favorite son. - Mr. Terrible.

17:00 - 17:04

S3E03: 1027541

And her? Too good for us? Huh.

17:06 - 17:08

S3E03: 1029666

Buster, you should've finished the job.

17:08 - 17:10

S3E03: 1032500

- Job? What job? - Did I say job? I meant Gob.

17:10 - 17:14

S3E03: 1036125

Buster's the one that hit her. I just gave her the roofie.

17:14 - 17:17

S3E03: 1038541

- Roofie? - Forget-me-now.

17:17 - 17:19

S3E03: 1040541

You beat and drugged Rita?

17:19 - 17:21

S3E03: 1045125

- Take this and love us again. - No, no, no!

17:24 - 17:25

S3E03: 1047083

- Just take it! - No, Gob!

17:26 - 17:28

S3E03: 1049333

Um, I'm leaving too.

17:28 - 17:30

S3E03: 1054000

Well, no good deed goes unpunished.

17:32 - 17:36

S3E03: 1057250

Oh, look, it's not all bad.

17:36 - 17:38

S3E03: 1060250

I got Buster feeling better about his... medal.

17:38 - 17:42

S3E03: 1063791

Not anymore. I'm getting rid of this thing.

17:42 - 17:45

S3E03: 1067083

It has caused me nothing but pride and self-respect!

17:45 - 17:48

S3E03: 1069833

Buster went to get rid of the medal...

17:48 - 17:50

S3E03: 1071958

he finally felt he deserved...

17:51 - 17:52

S3E03: 1074500

but it was exactly when George Sr. was making his escape.

17:53 - 17:55

S3E03: 1077166

Farewell to you all!

17:56 - 17:58

S3E03: 1082958

But it turns out that hydrogen is more explosive than helium.

18:01 - 18:04

S3E03: 1096000

And George Michael came home to find an unconscious Steve Holt.

18:14 - 18:17

S3E03: 1099166

- What have you guys been doing? - I gave him a roofie.

18:17 - 18:20

S3E03: 1101666

A girl's gotta grow up sometime.

18:20 - 18:22

S3E03: 1104083

- He's your cousin! - My cousin?

18:22 - 18:25

S3E03: 1107333

I should have told you that. Now you've drugged him and had your way with him.

18:25 - 18:29

S3E03: 1111458

- How is that even possible? - No, George Michael. We didn't do anything.

18:29 - 18:33

S3E03: 1114750

I just wanted him to think we did. Don't you see?

18:33 - 18:35

S3E03: 1117333

I drugged him not to go all the way with him.

18:36 - 18:38

S3E03: 1120541

Well, I think even the antidrug people are gonna be okay with that.

18:38 - 18:42

S3E03: 1124166

- Well, let's get his pants back on. - You took his pants off?

18:42 - 18:45

S3E03: 1127333

And Michael tried to salvage...

18:45 - 18:48

S3E03: 1129541

the remains of the files from the car fire.

18:48 - 18:50

S3E03: 1132291

- You call the attorney? - Yeah, but he's not taking our calls...

18:50 - 18:53

S3E03: 1134625

because apparently the retainer is all used up.

18:53 - 18:55

S3E03: 1137125

He took my call. He's very good.

18:55 - 18:58

S3E03: 1139458

Yeah, that's how the retainer got eaten up, okay?

18:58 - 19:00

S3E03: 1141625

The secretary took it all down here on a transcript.

19:00 - 19:02

S3E03: 1144125

Ugh. She's very good too.

19:02 - 19:05

S3E03: 1146666

- I'm not paying for this. - Well, what am I supposed to do?

19:05 - 19:08

S3E03: 1149958

I don't know, Lindsay. Thing you say on page seven looks like it could be worth some money.

19:08 - 19:12

S3E03: 1156791

- Speaking to me yet? - It's only been an hour.

19:15 - 19:17

S3E03: 1160125

Here's what I don't understand. What were you guys doing with Rita in the first place?

19:18 - 19:22

S3E03: 1163416

We just wanted to do something nice for you, Michael...

19:22 - 19:24

S3E03: 1166166

'cause you do so much for us.

19:25 - 19:27

S3E03: 1168750

I guess we screwed it up.

19:27 - 19:29

S3E03: 1170708

No, I screwed it up, 'cause I was trying to impress her.

19:29 - 19:32

S3E03: 1173833

Let's face it. She's probably too good for me.

19:32 - 19:34

S3E03: 1176791

No. What you need to do is go to her and ask for another chance.

19:35 - 19:38

S3E03: 1179750

She'd be lucky to have you, Michael.

19:38 - 19:41

S3E03: 1185250

Thanks, Gob. Sometimes you do surprise me.

19:43 - 19:46

S3E03: 1187791

I've got one more surprise for you.

19:46 - 19:48

S3E03: 1192208

It ain't easy being wh...

19:51 - 19:53

S3E03: 1194625

And Michael did try again with Rita...

19:53 - 19:55

S3E03: 1197333

but this time determined to keep no secrets.

19:55 - 19:58

S3E03: 1200166

I wanna tell you everything, if... if you're willing to listen.

19:58 - 20:01

S3E03: 1203500

I'm a very good listener.

20:01 - 20:05

S3E03: 1206833

Great. We'll start with the misdemeanors...

20:05 - 20:08

S3E03: 1210291

and then we're gonna push right on through to the lighter treasons.

20:08 - 20:12

S3E03: 1213208

So, 1983...

20:12 - 20:14

S3E03: 1221291

On the next Arrested Development.

20:19 - 20:22

S3E03: 1223916

Lindsay tries to work off her debt with Bob Loblaw.

20:22 - 20:25

S3E03: 1226458

I'm willing to debase myself.

20:25 - 20:27

S3E03: 1229583

Get a maid's uniform and come by my house around 7:00.

20:27 - 20:31

S3E03: 1232083

No way to misinterpret that.

20:31 - 20:32

S3E03: 1233791

Except the one.

20:32 - 20:34

S3E03: 1240291

And a traumatized Steve Holt needs a father.

20:38 - 20:41

S3E03: 1243625

I've made a huge mistake.

20:41 - 20:44

S3E03: 1248708

I know the feeling. I had you.

20:46 - 20:50

S3E03: 1252458

I'm your father, Steve Holt.

20:51 - 20:53

S3E03: 1254750

I can't hide from it anymore.

20:53 - 20:55

S3E03: 1257375

I won't forget this, Dad.

20:55 - 20:59

S3E03: 1268041

I will.

21:06 - 21:09

S3E03: 1273250

I will.

21:12 - 21:14