Episode 3x3 - "Forget-Me-Now"
Director: John Amodeo
Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything...
00:01 - 00:03
and the one son who had no choice...
00:03 - 00:06
but to keep them all together.
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It's Arrested Development.
00:14 - 00:15
Michael Bluth and his family were meeting with their new attorney.
00:18 - 00:21
Look, this is not the first time I've been brought in to replace Barry Zuckerkorn.
00:21 - 00:24
I think I can do for you everything he did...
00:24 - 00:27
plus skew younger... with juries and so forth.
00:27 - 00:29
Any other questions?
00:30 - 00:31
Yes. How can you be even cuter in person than you are in your ads?
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Are you a CEO, CFO or other executive...
00:34 - 00:37
facing these or similar charges?
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You don't need double-talk. You need Bob Loblaw.
00:44 - 00:48
Well, we're not here to talk nonsense to Bob Loblaw.
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We need to find out if the government has a good case against us.
00:53 - 00:55
I mean, there is a lot of proof that my father was building houses in Iraq.
00:55 - 00:58
Well, your father claims he was put up to it by a British syndicate.
00:58 - 01:01
- And you've been threatened. Isn't that correct? - It was.
01:01 - 01:04
How would you like someone going after some stupid person in your family?
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Now, back off, you!@%$# ponce!
01:07 - 01:10
It's been a week. Nothing's happened.
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Yeah, but you're not the one stuck under house arrest like a sitting duck.
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Oh, yeah. That's my father.
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That's why we had the meeting here... so he couldn't interfere.
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Interfere? I oughta pull down your pants and spank your ass raw.
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I'm sorry. Have we met?
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Oh, yes. This is Larry Middleman. He's your father's surrogate.
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- Surrogate? - That's right, you dumb!@%$.
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I hired this guy to wear a camera in his hat...
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so he could be my eyes and ears while I'm stuck in this penthouse.
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This camera helps me keep tabs on you idiots...
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while this thing rubs my ankle raw.
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- I mean, look at this thing. - I can't even go in the hallway...
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- Without hearing that... - Beep, beep, beep.
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That's one of my partners. Excuse me.
01:49 - 01:52
Uh, I would like to be one of your partners.
01:52 - 01:54
Do you think he got that? The two meanings?
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He's running pretty fast. I think he did.
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Well, he was flirting earlier. I'll tell you that.
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Just so you know, I'm looking to get divorced.
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- Are you interested? - Yes.
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Let's call that a half hour.
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- So you're not the only one who's got a date later. - You've got a date?
02:13 - 02:16
Her name's Rita. She teaches children at a private school, and we're just having lunch.
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Oh, lunch. Well, you better bring some dog food.
02:20 - 02:22
All the girls you date are dogs. Dogs love dog food, right, Pop?
02:22 - 02:26
Shut up, you idiot. I'm trying to watch the game.
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Just trying to make you laugh, Dad.
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- It's all I ever wanted. - Smith the catcher...
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You know, Gob, she's not a dog. It's just the opposite actually.
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She's exquisitely beautiful. She's fun, carefree, smart, full of surprises.
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Including the fact that she was working with this man...
02:42 - 02:45
who was currently dropping her off for her date.
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Now all this fun and carefree act is only gonna fool him for so long.
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- I'm a big girl. - Yeah. Well, if he finds out what you really are...
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he might not make things so simple for you.
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Rita, don't forget your hat.
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- Who am I kidding? She's too good for me. - How do you think I feel?
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Bob Loblaw's a handsome, professional man...
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and I'm only used to... well, none of those things.
03:11 - 03:13
Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over?
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An analyst and a therapist. The world's first "analrapist."
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Yes, and you were almost arrested for those business cards.
03:20 - 03:24
Yes. No, it did not look good on paper, but I didn't stop because of the police inquiries.
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I stopped to raise our little daughter.
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But since we both have started to grow hair in unexpected places...
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I suppose I shall soon be working as a leading man...
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and she may soon start dating.
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Maeby had already started dating.
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Another date with, uh, Steve Holt?
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Yeah. We're gettin' pretty serious.
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They weren't. She was just avoiding her real crush on George Michael.
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That Steve sure knows how to please a lady.
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Good. I was hoping he would be gifted sexually.
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I guess it makes sense. You know, uh, older guys expect certain things.
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- They do? - What a fun, sexy time for you.
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I'd be very careful of these British people.
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They're gonna try to get their hands on any evidence they can to hurt the family.
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So you're saying shred the evidence?
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No, that's illegal. The prosecution is entitled to that evidence.
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- Without it, they don't have a case. - So shred the evidence?
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That's a felony. And I certainly couldn't endorse anything like that.
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Got ya. Wink.
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- Or did you wink? - He said that too, Dad.
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We'll talk soon, folks. Thank you.
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Where are you going? Where is the surrogate going?
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Stay there. I want to see what he's gonna say. Don't leave.
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See ya, Pop.
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You know, Gob, instead of trying to impress your fake father...
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maybe you should spend some time with your real son.
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- Steve Holt's not my son. - Steve Holt? The moron jock?
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That's my son, you pothead.
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- Hey, that's my son! - Wait. So that means that Steve Holt is my cousin?
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- And Maeby's cousin too. - I guess. Shoot, I'm late for my date.
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Yeah. At the kennel!
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You lobbed that one right over the plate, Michael. Home run.
04:58 - 05:02
And Michael hurried to the British section of Orange County for his date.
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Crazy American! Get out of the road!
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Only to find that Rita had chosen Wee Britain's one American-themed restaurant.
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Oh, hello. I'm sorry I'm late.
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Oh, no bother. I've been having such fun on this spaceship.
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Strike one, huh? Shall we go ahead and sit down?
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Hey, dudes, I'll get you a couple of 64-ounce colas...
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to wash down this basket of doughnuts...
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I guess this is what the British think of Americans.
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- We like our food. - Whatever do you mean?
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Yeah.
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Uh, you know, uh, Rita, you're gonna figure this out eventually...
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but I have not been on a date in a long, long time.
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- Neither have I. - I wonder why.
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I'll bet men ask you out constantly.
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Not men like you. I seem to only meet little boys.
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Part of that might be that you spend your day at a preschool.
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And they think the stupidest things are funny.
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Yeah, that's a cultural problem is what it is, you know.
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Your average American male is in a perpetual state of adolescence...
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you know, arrested development.
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Hey, that's the name of the show!
06:07 - 06:09
No attention span. You know, can't even carry on a typical conver...
06:09 - 06:13
Michael thought he spotted the man who'd threatened him earlier.
06:13 - 06:17
Well, I'm gettin' back on the space shuttle.
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No, no, no. Sorry. Sorry. Sit, please.
06:19 - 06:21
Let's talk about you. Tell me about your family.
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Well, they're pushy, bossy, want to control me.
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What about your family? I'd love to meet your family.
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Michael knew from experience...
06:33 - 06:34
that this would not turn out well.
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Once or twice a week, we get a...
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Have a little more.
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If you like the small, why don't you come back for the medium?
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Right? You can see that, right?
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I probably should warn you about my mother.
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- Hi. - Let's start behind the fridge.
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So he came up with a solution so simple...
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he wondered why he'd never told anyone it before.
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I don't have a family.
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I can't believe I've never told anybody that before.
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That's so sad.
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Yes, sad. Super sad. Shall we eat?
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Michael had started a relationship...
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by lying about the existence of his family.
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I think this went really well, huh?
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- Maybe sometime we can have dinner? - Could I see your house?
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Michael was caught off-guard by the question.
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No. No. I... I can't do that.
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- Okay, bye-bye. - Uh, bye.
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And he vowed not to be caught off-guard again.
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I didn't mean that we...
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So did he invite you over, then?
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Not yet, but he will.
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So Michael went back to work.
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Hey, who brought in the wood...
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Gob, you can't shred this evidence. You'll end up in jail.
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Dad told me to. How can I say no to that face?
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Get this stuff out of here and put it somewhere where Dad can't get to it.
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- Are you in on this too? - No, I'm just here to go out to lunch with your father.
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And he said he's never felt more free in his life.
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- I'm like a bird up there. - Did you tell him about my medal?
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- Medal? What for? - Oh, who knows what they were saying.
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- Do you agree? Say thank you. - Thank you. Wow.
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- I have so many people to thank. - Private Asher, step forward!
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It's probably because a seal bit off his hand.
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The army has taken to giving medals for being food.
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- Just then... - Look at him go tied to that deck chair!
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It's so simple. My ankle monitor...
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only goes off when I go out the front door.
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We need balloons. A party!
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- We need to throw a party for... - Buster's stupid thing.
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Larry, go get some balloons.
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And Michael found a way to get Rita to his house after all.
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That's a great idea. Honor Buster tomorrow night.
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We'll get the whole family over to the penthouse, show him our support.
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Well, I suppose it's better than drinking alone. What time?
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Doesn't matter to me. I can't be there. I've got a date with Rita.
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Well, Mom's probably right. I couldn't stand up to a seal.
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I don't really deserve a medal or a party.
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No, you deserve this. Here, take my business card.
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No, no. It's pronounced "a-nalra-pist."
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It wasn't really the pronunciation that bothered me.
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You see, Buster, it wasn't the seal that you couldn't stand up to.
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It was Lucille.
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Oh, I'm getting chills.
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If this was a Lifetime moment of truth movie...
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this would be our act break.
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But it wasn't.
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And later, Lindsay was on the phone with Bob Loblaw.
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I love Tobias, but he's never fulfilled me sexually.
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Can you catalog for me the various ways...
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you'd been promised to be fulfilled...
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whether or not said promise was made explicit?
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- You want me to be explicit? - Yes.
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But I will be needing to get off in four minutes.
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Well, let's see if I can't hit that target for you.
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The next day, on the way to pick up Rita...
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Michael stopped by his house to make sure there were no signs of his family...
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only to discover there was nothing but.
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- What the hell is all this? - Gob brought all this stuff in.
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And, Mom, what is with all the family photos?
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Oh, I'm teaching Buster to stand up for himself.
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- I'm surrogating your mother. - By wearing her sealskin coat?
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Michael, I have tried on everything, and nothing seems to be working.
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I thought the Donna Karan worked. You just didn't have the right shoes.
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Look, I've gotta get rid of any evidence of my family, including you guys.
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Get outta here!
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See? Now, that's how you stand up to Mother.
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Meanwhile, worried about Steve Holt's...
10:37 - 10:39
sexual expectations, Maeby tried to cancel her date.
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My whole family and I now have to go to my grandma's house...
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- because my uncle lost his hand. - Awesome!
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So you and I can party alone at your house.
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Maeby was too young to know what to do.
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Ironically, in her after-school job as a movie studio executive...
10:52 - 10:56
she’d just green-lit two films that dealt with the very issue.
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- Rock the house. - All right.
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George Michael also didn't know what to do.
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If he pointed out that the two were cousins to drive them apart...
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he might be burning the very bridge that he one day hoped to cross.
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- I'm doing your cousin tonight. - So are you.
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- What? - She's your cousin too.
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Back at the penthouse, party preparations were under way.
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He's not wearing that to the party. I've got the exact same thing.
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No, he was just "analraping" me. Then Michael barged in...
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and kicked us out so he could shred all the evidence.
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- Shred the evidence? - I thought he didn't want us to do that.
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He didn't want us to get into trouble. He's taking the heat.
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He's doing that for us? And on the night of his date with Rita.
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Who he didn't want to bring over here. Probably because...
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let's face it... you people haven't been great with the others.
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Well, in our defense, Mom, we're not exactly dog people.
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- We've got to start being nicer. - I'm starting right now.
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- Buster, the party's not for you anymore. - Oh, okay.
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It's a "welcome Rita" party.
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I know where she works. We can pick her up and surprise her.
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You're so right. This is better than a party for me.
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Oh, come on. Grow a pair.
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You know, we need some weather balloons for this party, and maybe a tank of hydrogen.
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You know, really float those suckers.
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Meanwhile, Michael was hiding the evidence...
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wherever he could when he heard from his brother.
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Hey, friend. Gob here. We really want you at the party.
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We're really nice now. And, God, we love you.
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Damn it.
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- big enough to hold them all. - Hey, hey. Excuse me. Rita?
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- I'm Rita. - We're here to pick you up for Michael.
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Uh, you can just go in the cabin.
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- Michael? - Oh, he's not here.
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- We're his family. - Oh, his family.
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- We're nice. - I'm sorry. I have to leave.
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Oh, no, you cannot leave. Drive, Lindsay!
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- Bye! - We're doing this for Michael.
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- Stop her, Buster. - What am I supposed to do?
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- Stop her! - Stop yelling at me! - I'm leaving!
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And that's when Buster noticed the seal on Rita's backpack.
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Hey, talk about cathartic. Now, that's an act break.
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Buster had overcome his fear of seals.
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Unfortunately, he'd done so by knocking out Michael's new girlfriend.
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- What the hell did you do? - You curious, Mom?
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- I can show you. - Uh, you made a mistake.
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You're human. Except for the hand.
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It's okay. She's alive. And soft. Soft and alive.
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All right, let's not add that to the charges. What'll we do?
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She's gonna tell Michael. And he won't hear the good stuff.
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He'll just hear about the beating.
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Wait. Maybe we can give her a "forget-me-now." Here you go, hot dog.
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- Take the pill. - What's a forget-me-now?
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They're pills that create a sort of temporary "forgettiness."
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If somebody finds out how you do a trick, you give them one, and they forget the whole thing.
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- Oh. - It's a mainstay of the magician's tool kit.
14:02 - 14:05
Like how clowns always have a rag soaked in ether.
14:05 - 14:07
Gob, this is flunitrazepam. It's a roofie.
14:07 - 14:10
- Those are illegal! - Shut up, Mom.
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Don't make me give you another one of these.
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Lindsay, help me! Three!
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Back at the house, Michael finished his work...
14:23 - 14:26
and, now late, rushed to pick up Rita.
14:26 - 14:28
Moments later, Maeby prepared to tell Steve she wasn't ready for romance.
14:28 - 14:32
Well, this sends a mixed message.
14:32 - 14:35
Just as Steve showed up to call things off with his cousin.
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- You did all this for me? - Yes.
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Well, I'm gonna go get sexy.
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And Michael missed Rita.
14:47 - 14:49
Damn it. Strike two.
14:51 - 14:54
Take it down. We don't want anything that says Rita.
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Hi. It's Michael. I will be coming to the party...
14:58 - 15:01
because I love you too.
15:01 - 15:04
Okay. We need a new banner.
15:04 - 15:07
And that's when Michael found Rita.
15:07 - 15:10
Rita.
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- Why am I on a bus bench, Michael? - I get it.
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I'm sorry. But the rest of the night's gonna be all about you, I promise.
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Great. Great.
15:19 - 15:20
I am gonna have to make one quick stop, maybe you'd just wait in the car.
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It's just gonna be two seconds, I promise.
15:23 - 15:25
And so Michael raced up to pay his quick respects to Buster.
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Ah, there he is... my favorite son.
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- Everybody's favorite son! - Mr. Wonderful!
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Well, I had a great time. I wish I could've stayed longer.
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This is a great party, huh? Tell Buster I stopped by, please.
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- I do have to leave. - Oh, no, no, no.
15:40 - 15:42
The party is not for Buster anymore.
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- No, Michael. It's for you. - Me.
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Take a look at banner, Michael!
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You guys did all of this for me? "Family love"...
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- Michael? - Everyone froze.
15:54 - 15:57
Michael feared he'd been caught in a lie about his family.
15:57 - 16:01
His family feared they'd been caught...
16:01 - 16:03
by a woman they clubbed, drugged and left on a bench.
16:03 - 16:07
It was awkward.
16:07 - 16:09
- Who's this? - Mother! Mother!
16:09 - 16:12
This is from the army. I have to report for duty tomorrow!
16:12 - 16:15
It says by accepting this medal, I was reenlisting.
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I didn't hear them say that.
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Perhaps if the sergeant had spoken more slowly, she would have.
16:20 - 16:22
If you agree with this, say thank you.
16:28 - 16:30
Thank you.
16:30 - 16:32
What am I gonna do? I can't go back there. I've never been!
16:32 - 16:35
- Who are these people? - This is my family.
16:35 - 16:39
No. No. I don't like these people.
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Me. You mean... She means me. Because I lied...
16:41 - 16:44
about having a family, because I was embarrassed by them.
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And I'm ashamed of that.
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I have to leave.
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Strike three.
16:55 - 16:57
You said you didn't have a family?
16:57 - 17:00
- Everybody's favorite son. - Mr. Terrible.
17:00 - 17:04
And her? Too good for us? Huh.
17:06 - 17:08
Buster, you should've finished the job.
17:08 - 17:10
- Job? What job? - Did I say job? I meant Gob.
17:10 - 17:14
Buster's the one that hit her. I just gave her the roofie.
17:14 - 17:17
- Roofie? - Forget-me-now.
17:17 - 17:19
You beat and drugged Rita?
17:19 - 17:21
- Take this and love us again. - No, no, no!
17:24 - 17:25
- Just take it! - No, Gob!
17:26 - 17:28
Um, I'm leaving too.
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Well, no good deed goes unpunished.
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Oh, look, it's not all bad.
17:36 - 17:38
I got Buster feeling better about his... medal.
17:38 - 17:42
Not anymore. I'm getting rid of this thing.
17:42 - 17:45
It has caused me nothing but pride and self-respect!
17:45 - 17:48
Buster went to get rid of the medal...
17:48 - 17:50
he finally felt he deserved...
17:51 - 17:52
but it was exactly when George Sr. was making his escape.
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Farewell to you all!
17:56 - 17:58
But it turns out that hydrogen is more explosive than helium.
18:01 - 18:04
And George Michael came home to find an unconscious Steve Holt.
18:14 - 18:17
- What have you guys been doing? - I gave him a roofie.
18:17 - 18:20
A girl's gotta grow up sometime.
18:20 - 18:22
- He's your cousin! - My cousin?
18:22 - 18:25
I should have told you that. Now you've drugged him and had your way with him.
18:25 - 18:29
- How is that even possible? - No, George Michael. We didn't do anything.
18:29 - 18:33
I just wanted him to think we did. Don't you see?
18:33 - 18:35
I drugged him not to go all the way with him.
18:36 - 18:38
Well, I think even the antidrug people are gonna be okay with that.
18:38 - 18:42
- Well, let's get his pants back on. - You took his pants off?
18:42 - 18:45
And Michael tried to salvage...
18:45 - 18:48
the remains of the files from the car fire.
18:48 - 18:50
- You call the attorney? - Yeah, but he's not taking our calls...
18:50 - 18:53
because apparently the retainer is all used up.
18:53 - 18:55
He took my call. He's very good.
18:55 - 18:58
Yeah, that's how the retainer got eaten up, okay?
18:58 - 19:00
The secretary took it all down here on a transcript.
19:00 - 19:02
Ugh. She's very good too.
19:02 - 19:05
- I'm not paying for this. - Well, what am I supposed to do?
19:05 - 19:08
I don't know, Lindsay. Thing you say on page seven looks like it could be worth some money.
19:08 - 19:12
- Speaking to me yet? - It's only been an hour.
19:15 - 19:17
Here's what I don't understand. What were you guys doing with Rita in the first place?
19:18 - 19:22
We just wanted to do something nice for you, Michael...
19:22 - 19:24
'cause you do so much for us.
19:25 - 19:27
I guess we screwed it up.
19:27 - 19:29
No, I screwed it up, 'cause I was trying to impress her.
19:29 - 19:32
Let's face it. She's probably too good for me.
19:32 - 19:34
No. What you need to do is go to her and ask for another chance.
19:35 - 19:38
She'd be lucky to have you, Michael.
19:38 - 19:41
Thanks, Gob. Sometimes you do surprise me.
19:43 - 19:46
I've got one more surprise for you.
19:46 - 19:48
It ain't easy being wh...
19:51 - 19:53
And Michael did try again with Rita...
19:53 - 19:55
but this time determined to keep no secrets.
19:55 - 19:58
I wanna tell you everything, if... if you're willing to listen.
19:58 - 20:01
I'm a very good listener.
20:01 - 20:05
Great. We'll start with the misdemeanors...
20:05 - 20:08
and then we're gonna push right on through to the lighter treasons.
20:08 - 20:12
So, 1983...
20:12 - 20:14
On the next Arrested Development.
20:19 - 20:22
Lindsay tries to work off her debt with Bob Loblaw.
20:22 - 20:25
I'm willing to debase myself.
20:25 - 20:27
Get a maid's uniform and come by my house around 7:00.
20:27 - 20:31
No way to misinterpret that.
20:31 - 20:32
Except the one.
20:32 - 20:34
And a traumatized Steve Holt needs a father.
20:38 - 20:41
I've made a huge mistake.
20:41 - 20:44
I know the feeling. I had you.
20:46 - 20:50
I'm your father, Steve Holt.
20:51 - 20:53
I can't hide from it anymore.
20:53 - 20:55
I won't forget this, Dad.
20:55 - 20:59
I will.
21:06 - 21:09
I will.
21:12 - 21:14