Episode 2x15 - "Sword of Destiny"
Director: Peter Lauer
Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything...
00:01 - 00:04
and the one son who had no choice...
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but to keep them all together.
00:06 - 00:08
Michael Bluth had just been stunned to discover...
00:19 - 00:22
that a contract his company was counting on was being cut back.
00:22 - 00:26
You initially told us to design and build 22 homes. Now you're saying 18.
00:26 - 00:30
That doesn't give us enough capital to complete the job.
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And we've already got the blueprints drawn up and everything.
00:32 - 00:34
Well, that part wasn't true. But they would've.
00:34 - 00:37
That was a very important phone call.
00:37 - 00:40
I don't have much time, Michael. Tobias is about to walk in here any minute asking for a job.
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I need you to hire him.
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- Hi. I'm sor- - Look, it isn't my idea, it's his.
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But I need a break from Mrs. Featherbottom.
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Since moving out, Tobias had been pretending to be a British housekeeper...
00:51 - 00:55
as a way to be close to his family.
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However, his desire to now be discovered as himself was becoming bothersome.
00:58 - 01:01
Can't you just tell him you know that he's Mrs. Featherbottom?
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Yeah, the real Tobias wouldn't do that.
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- Wouldn't do what? - Be Michael's assistant.
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Well, that's what I came down here to ask about.
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I think you'll find me more than qualified.
01:15 - 01:17
It's really not that simple. Uh, you'd have to submit a résumé.
01:17 - 01:20
Booyah!
01:20 - 01:23
- Wow. Gobias Industries. - Gobias.
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- Right. I remember, yeah. - As in "Go buy us a cup of-"
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It looks like you might be a little too qualified.
01:28 - 01:30
Hang on. Why don't you let your new assistant take all this down?
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Wow, you are gung ho.
01:36 - 01:38
You're getting a new assistant? Is this because the order was cut back?
01:38 - 01:41
No. But if you are concerned about keeping your job...
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focus on keeping unwanted visitors out of my office.
01:44 - 01:46
I have rabies, Michael. You know that. Today was day four of my shots.
01:46 - 01:50
Starla had been bitten by...
01:50 - 01:52
a well-known music producer's guard dog.
01:52 - 01:54
Michael, Starla told us about the cutback.
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You know, a lot of our overhead is tied up in the fact...
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we are on the top floor of a very expensive building.
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- If we move just one floor lower- - Ted, everything's fine.
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I got it all under control, and nobody needs to move.
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- I'm sorry. Ted, is it? - Yes.
02:10 - 02:13
Ted. Did Ted make an appointment?
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- No, I just work down the hall and- - No.
02:15 - 02:17
Well, then, Ted can get the hell out of this office!
02:17 - 02:20
- I'm talking- - You get the hell out!
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- And that's how you keep out unwanted visitors. - Thank you.
02:24 - 02:27
Although, if I may, let me take off my assistant skirt...
02:27 - 02:30
and put on my Barbra Streisand in The Prince of Tides ass-masking therapist pantsuit.
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- What? - The reason that you can't accept my help...
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is the same reason you can't hear that gentleman's idea-
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because you have to be in total control of everything.
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And it's going to make you sick if you can't let go.
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- Hey, I'm fine. - Oh?
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Oh! Ooh! - See? He's right. You've got a control problem.
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But I know this Eastern medicine store, Ancient Chinese Secret.
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Ancient Chinese Secret, huh?
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- I sent Gob there for his migraines. - It's just a cramp. I'm fine.
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In fact, Gob was at Ancient Chinese Secret at that moment...
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- but not for a migraine. - Yeah, I need a tea to give my dingle less tingle.
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Me quick, want slow. Wait, that's Indian.
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Tea for dong.
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- Sweet blade. - It's the Sword of Destiny. It's full of ancient magic.
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Oh, yeah? You into magic?
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Still, where'd the lighter fluid come from?
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- So, is it for sale? I could use it in my act. - Maybe.
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Sword of Destiny hundreds of years old.
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Come with ancient story of warning and-
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Yeah, I make up my own patter. Just ring it up with the dong tea.
03:38 - 03:41
And Gob caught up with Michael.
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- Michael. Been lookin' for you. - Looks like you're looking for dragons, in the future.
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I wouldn't mock the Sword of Destiny, Michael.
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Careful with that, Gob.
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- Bleeding? - Nope.
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Yeah, that's blood. It'll get better before the show.
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That's what I need you for, Michael.
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I can't perform my illusion at the Gothic Castle...
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because I've been banned from the Magicians' Alliance.
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I need you to register as the magician, and I'm the lowly assistant.
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Then we get on the stage, and you ram the Sword of Destiny into my belly.
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- What do you think? - Really picked up steam there at the end, but I can't.
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I've gotta teach George Michael how to drive. And then I gotta get right back here, because-
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Michael, if I make this comeback...
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I'll buy you 100 George Michaels you can teach to drive!
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- You're losing blood, aren't you? - Probably. My socks are wet.
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Sorry.
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You'll be sorry! Wait, that doesn't work after his line.
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And Michael rushed home to teach his son to drive.
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Knock, knock. Hey, Maeby. George Michael, ready to drive?
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- I don't have much time. - Get me behind that wheel.
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Oh, no, you will not be behind the wheel.
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You'll observe me while I demonstrate some things, okay?
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I'll be quizzing you too, hotshot. I'm gonna go grab the video camera.
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- And then, school's in. - I'd skip.
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Well, no, I need to learn.
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You can't get around anywhere without a driver's license.
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Actually, Maeby had received a company car from the movie studio...
04:55 - 05:00
where she was secretly posing as an executive.
05:00 - 05:03
But currently, George Sr. Was in the attic making a videotape-
05:10 - 05:16
- This is my demand. - when Michael found him.
05:16 - 05:19
What's the deal with the turban?
05:19 - 05:21
Huh? Pretty smart, huh?
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- And-And it's warm too. - Guess that makes sense.
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Oh, hey, I heard about that reduced order. Those bastards.
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This videotape is for our employees.
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You take this and play it. This will reassure them that someone is in charge.
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Well, someone is in charge, Dad. I'm in charge. I've never even taken a sick day.
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No, a real authority.
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My presence needs to be, uh, reinstated.
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His first effort at doing so had already failed.
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When do you start being my mole at my company?
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Actually, Michael turned me down for the job.
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- What? - Something to do with their housing order being cut back.
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Oh, my God, that's a horrible sign- Ow! Damn it!
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I'm the authority, so I will save the company.
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And I say no videotape. Ooh!
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- You oughta take a sick day. Get out of that office. - Don't count on it, Dad.
06:09 - 06:13
And Michael was finally ready to make his son watch him drive.
06:14 - 06:17
All right, stair car basics. In order to get this thing up to a minimum speed...
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you gotta jam on the gas pedal for about a minute, okay?
06:21 - 06:24
But in order to slow this thing down...
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you gotta get immediately back on the brake pedal...
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'cause you got about two tons of stairs behind you.
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We're gonna cover the hydraulic flaps and the riser system...
06:30 - 06:33
after I tell you the basics about how to avoid a hop-on.
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But the first thing we're gonna go over- Ow!
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And that's when Michael decided that perhaps it was time for a sick day.
06:39 - 06:43
Let's go over the route to the hospital. Ow!
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My baby is sick, but Mother is here to nurse you.
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- Well, now I'm a little sicker. - Well, don't you worry about work today.
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I am ready and willing to step up and take over.
06:54 - 06:57
Yeah, and I'll get George Michael ready for his driving test.
06:57 - 07:00
I'm gonna teach him when I get out. And no one's taking over for me at the Bluth Company.
07:00 - 07:04
Michael, this is what we talked about. I'm sure they'll do just fine without you.
07:04 - 07:08
Well, you're wrong, because we're in crisis there.
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They need to know that I'm in charge and I'm in con-
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I'm peeing. Am I peeing?
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I'm sorry. We gave you a little something to relax you.
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It may have taken the tingle out of your genitals.
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Oh, no. You're not taking care of my son.
07:21 - 07:24
I'm sorry to say this, but it's too late for me to do anything for your son.
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Let him keep talking.
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Because Dr. Stein here has already been assigned to his case.
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- You're lucky. He's the best. - Well, only in the county.
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But I'm certainly good enough to take out that appendix of yours.
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- Appendix? - I don't buy it. Could be a hernia.
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Or it could be your colon.
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I'd want to get in there and find some answers.
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Well, I am the best doctor in the state.
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But if you don't trust my decisions-
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No, no, no. No. You're the doctor. You see, he's the authority here.
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We need to respect him just like the employees at the Bluth Company need to respect me.
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Okay, I'm going to put you on this machine to slow down your heart rate.
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Hopefully not too slow, because it's already dangerously slow as it is.
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Whatever you think, Doctor.
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Meanwhile, Gob was still trying to arrange his comeback in magic.
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So I'd be a magician and you'd be my assistant?
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Well, on paper, yes.
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But once the show starts, and you ram that sword through my belly...
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people will know that I'm the one who belongs back in the Alliance.
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The kind of trick that I can put on a DVD, like Tony Wonder does.
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Tony Wonder had startled the world by baking himself into a loaf ofbread.
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which many claimed suffered due to its pop-up ads. - Thanks.
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I'm finally being treated like a real person, not some deformed-
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Hook! Forgot about that thing, Elephant Man.
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Gonna have to figure out something to do so that people can look at you...
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without wanting to kill themselves.
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That night, George Sr. Heard about Michael's illness.
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The employees are gonna panic. They need to know that someone's in control.
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- And how do we do that? - Booyah!
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And at the Gothic Castle...
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- Buster had been outfitted with a mechanical Halloween hand. - Whoa!
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Looks like you've got some dirty ears.
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Well, you're not on the banned list, so you can go on at 6:00.
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6:00? Looks like you'll be my opener.
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Tony Wonder!
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You like bread?
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- Yeah. - Have some.
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- Wow, it's warm. - How did you do that?
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Oh, ho, ho. Magicians only.
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I folded it up into some squares, and I put it in a pouch under my shirt...
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and then I pull it out, and I make it look like it came out of my skin.
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- Wow, that sounds easy. - Keep it to yourself.
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And good luck up there tonight. And you! You'll get there someday.
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I started out as a little "W." Somehow I became a big one.
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I don't even know how it happened. All right?
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My eye!
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Enjoy the Hanukkah cookie, man.
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What a cool guy.
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- Tobias had been sent to the office by George Sr. - My name is Dr. Tobias Fünke...
10:20 - 10:23
and I'll be filling in for Michael, who is not sick.
10:23 - 10:27
In fact, just today I saw a sliver of his buttocks...
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and they're as fresh and firm as a Georgia peach, so not to worry.
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But before you all rise up and say, "Well, let's make this man our leader,"
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well, I think that won't be necessary after you see this.
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Is this right?
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Meanwhile, Lindsay had also violated Michael's authority...
10:45 - 10:48
and was teaching George Michael to drive.
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Sure you don't want me to watch you for a while?
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Driving is about confidence, George Michael. Jam on it! It feels great, right?
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Now, put your foot on the brake. There's a light in a half mile.
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Meanwhile, Buster and Gob had begun...
11:01 - 11:04
the Sword of Destiny illusion at the Gothic Castle.
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Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah! Ooh! Whoo!
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Stop it, Buster.
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- And now our magic trick. - Illusion.
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Silence, slave!
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In this magic trick, I'm going to put a sword...
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- through my assistant's tummy. - No patter.
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It's a real sword, master.
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Oh-ho!
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- Ooh! Hoo, hoo, hoo! - We've got 'em. I'm gonna milk this for a minute.
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Okay.
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My hand! My hand!
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And the audience wasn't the only one impressed by the performance.
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Bravo. Hey, give us a sec, would you, Candida?
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My brother's widow. It's- up.
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Hey, so the accident angle. Right on.
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- Oh, thank you, very much. - No, thank you.
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Sorry. That's what we call the audience.
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No, l-I know- I know about all that. Used to have a solo act.
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There was talk of boiling me into a bisque at one point.
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Not registering. But you hitched your wagon to the right star.
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- I want you guys on my next DVD. - You want us for Use Your Illusion?
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So, I'm thinkin', like, Use Your Illusion II.
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But, yeah, meet me out there tomorrow. And, uh, if you get thirsty-
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Have a free round of drinks, courtesy ofTony Wonder.
12:59 - 13:04
- It's a Subway Sub Club card. - That's a magician.
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Oh, it still needs three stamps.
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Michael had just come around from his appendectomy.
13:10 - 13:13
Give me the phone. I want to call George Michael, tell him I'm okay.
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He's on his way here. We passed him on the road.
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He was doing really well. Had his first hop-on.
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What are you talking about? He's driving? I told Lindsay not to teach him.
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- I was going to videotape that hop-on. - Hey, Dad. How're you feeling?
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Bad, George Michael. I just found out Lindsay's teaching you how to drive.
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Yeah. She's still trying to get the stairs unwedged from the emergency room overhang.
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I was gonna teach you. Just forget everything she told you, and we'll start over.
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Oh, for God's sake. Tobias is right.
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- What? - You have to control everyone's life.
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I don't know where you get that from. Oscar, stop licking that sore.
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- I'm not. - Well, the operation went pretty smoothly.
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But once I got in there, the appendix wasn't so inflamed. D'oh.
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- I knew it. - Okay. Well, can we get me out of here?
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I gotta retrain my son how to drive, and I need to stop by the office...
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- to make sure my business doesn't go to hell. - And, not so fast, Michael.
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There seems to be a bacterial infection from the operation...
14:03 - 14:06
- which left an abscess in your abdominal wall. - Ew.
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I know, it's pretty gross. It could heal on its own.
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But I say we go in there Dr. Stein-style and cut it out.
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I want to show these interns what the best doctor in Southern California can do.
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- Well, I respect your decision. - I'll check on you soon.
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Michael, this crazy point you're trying to make about respecting authority is absurd.
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And one day, you're gonna wake up and find out it has caused you nothing but trouble.
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- And you are peeing again. - And as the anesthesia took hold...
14:36 - 14:40
Michael realized he was going to wake up to nothing but trouble.
14:40 - 14:43
The F.B.I. Has pinpointed the location of escaped convict George Bluth today...
14:43 - 14:48
thanks to a tape turned in by a rabid and disgruntled employee.
14:48 - 14:52
The F.B.I. Has matched the design of the attic to one of Saddam Hussein's Iraqi houses.
14:52 - 14:58
Booyah!
15:02 - 15:05
Buster and Gob were waiting to meet with Tony Wonder.
15:08 - 15:12
All right. He's gonna lowball us, so just let me do the talking, all right, Busty?
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This DVD is the destiny the sword has chosen for me.
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I wonder where he is.
15:19 - 15:22
Did somebody say, "Wonder"?
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He just appeared out of nowhere, in front of that dumbwaiter.
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Actually, he'd been hiding inside the dumbwaiter for over 20 minutes...
15:30 - 15:34
- waiting for someone to use the word "wonder." - I wonder where he is.
15:34 - 15:38
Oh, hey, you've got a piece of lettuce on your shoulder.
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Ta-da!
15:41 - 15:43
Part of the trick. So, let's get down to business, shall we?
15:43 - 15:47
Hey, can you, uh, go wait with the other assistants over there?
15:47 - 15:50
- What? - No, whatever you say to me, you can say to him.
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I grant him magic sanctuary.
15:53 - 15:57
Uh, you grant me? Come on, you can't just make up- - That's fine.
15:57 - 16:00
I second the sanctuary. But with a clause of silence.
16:00 - 16:04
So, I want you guys to be on Use Your Illusion. Only now it's "Allusion" with an "A."
16:04 - 16:08
So if you guys want to put an allusion in there somewhere...
16:08 - 16:10
like, you know, Poe or something or- Don't do Poe, 'cause I'm doin' Poe.
16:11 - 16:14
- What about Chaucer? - Just not Poe, okay?
16:14 - 16:16
And, uh, I don't think we need, uh, your assistant.
16:16 - 16:21
- What? - Eh! Clause of silence.
16:21 - 16:24
Look, my assistant is my partner. I need him.
16:24 - 16:29
For what, Buster, huh? You're the magic.
16:30 - 16:33
Check out those moves you're doin', man. They're in their own orbit.
16:33 - 16:36
Look at Tiagra, my girl. Don't look at her.
16:36 - 16:38
'Cause you look at her and it affects her in a way that I don't feel comfortable with.
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Or go for it. I don't care, whatever. I'm just sayin' it's your world.
16:42 - 16:45
All right, you know what? The trick is on you, Tony Wonder.
16:45 - 16:47
I'm the magician. He's the assistant. We don't need him!
16:47 - 16:52
The real Sword of Destiny trick hasn't even been performed yet. Ta-da!
16:52 - 16:56
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait.
16:56 - 16:59
Are you tellin' me that you have a multi-stage trick with hidden identities?
16:59 - 17:03
That's right. And I'm gonna perform the real trick this afternoon.
17:03 - 17:06
- I guess we'll see what you can do then. - I guess we will.
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Ow! Darryl, I told you to move that- chair 10 times!
17:17 - 17:22
And clean the- Dumbwaiter while you're at it!
17:22 - 17:25
Oh, I was really hoping for a graham cracker.
17:25 - 17:28
That would have been a good spot for a trick.
17:28 - 17:30
- Michael awoke from his second surgery. - Morning, sleepyhead.
17:30 - 17:32
- Did you get the abscess? - Well, uh, we had a little whoopsie.
17:32 - 17:36
See, we got the abscess, but I think we might have left some snippers in there.
17:36 - 17:40
It's not very likely, but one of the assistants having taken them is even less likely.
17:40 - 17:45
- Unless I left them in my scrubs. - Michael, good news.
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They think George is in Iraq. All the pressure's off him.
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That was on the news? I thought that I dreamt that.
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- Oh, they're gonna think that I'm there. Ow! - But not to worry.
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Tobias said he's handling it with the F.B. I...
18:00 - 18:02
and the employees have everything under control.
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No, that's the worst thing possible.
18:05 - 18:07
They think the company's in trouble and that I'm in Iraq.
18:07 - 18:09
I gotta get down there. I need your car keys.
18:09 - 18:11
And so Michael and George Michael headed to the office.
18:11 - 18:14
- Right here, gentlemen. - Which is how Tobias missed him.
18:14 - 18:17
Michael Bluth is not... in Iraq.
18:17 - 18:21
Michael, back to bed with you. You look awful.
18:22 - 18:26
Michael rushed to the office only to find that his worst fears had come true.
18:26 - 18:32
We're too late. It's gone. Everybody said that I was too controlling...
18:34 - 18:36
but I walk away for one minute, look what happens to the company.
18:36 - 18:40
I mean, this is why I didn't want- Damn it!
18:40 - 18:42
Dad, you should probably take it easy.
18:42 - 18:44
I said that this would happen. I said respect my authority, but no one would listen.
18:44 - 18:47
Everybody had their own better id- Ow!
18:47 - 18:49
And maybe it was the stress or even the misplaced snippers...
18:49 - 18:53
but Michael had never felt worse.
18:53 - 18:55
However, thanks to taking on his authority, the employees had never felt better.
18:55 - 19:00
- Ted? - Oh, hey, Michael. Good news.
19:00 - 19:02
We leased the top floor to another company and moved down here.
19:03 - 19:05
But we can stay in business without having to build the extra houses.
19:05 - 19:08
We did it. We did it!
19:08 - 19:11
- You're goin' down, right? - Whoo!
19:13 - 19:17
And back at the Gothic Castle, Gob was performing his illusion.
19:17 - 19:20
Hey, after I cut the candle in half, switch out the real sword for the fake one.
19:21 - 19:25
What are you doin'? I'm Gob Bluth.
19:25 - 19:28
I'm the real magician. This man is only the assistant.
19:28 - 19:32
Buster, the sword.
19:32 - 19:36
Handle first. Handle first.
19:37 - 19:40
Oh, my fingers!
19:40 - 19:42
He cut off my- fingers!
19:42 - 19:45
- Oh! - No!
19:45 - 19:47
- I didn't know we had taquitos. - More! More!
19:55 - 20:00
And Michael came to a decision.
20:00 - 20:02
You know what, George Michael?
20:02 - 20:04
I think I'm going to give up some of my authority, starting now.
20:04 - 20:09
You drive home. All right?
20:09 - 20:12
Unfortunately, Michael's decision to let his son...
20:12 - 20:15
drive a car with a more responsive gas pedal...
20:15 - 20:19
was not a good decision.
20:19 - 20:23
Your leg's gonna be fine, Michael.
20:23 - 20:24
And I wouldn't worry about getting hit by any more cars.
20:25 - 20:27
I've shortened your calf muscles to theoretically increase your jumping ability.
20:27 - 20:31
But if it works, I could be the best in the world.
20:31 - 20:35
I want the other doctor back.
20:35 - 20:37
- Michael gets a new roommate. - Your fingers have been perfectly reattached.
20:40 - 20:45
Go ahead, take a look.
20:45 - 20:47
My middle finger and index finger are-
20:48 - 20:51
Switched for the first time ever.
20:51 - 20:54
- Nice job, Frank. - Amazing.
20:54 - 20:56
And the F.B.I. Finds footage more troublesome than they'd originally thought.
20:56 - 21:00
It appears there was something else on the videotape.
21:00 - 21:03
We think it's a terrorist training film.
21:03 - 21:06
You're not half the man he was!
21:06 - 21:11
This kid's got moves.
21:11 - 21:14
MovieFull-HD.com ~ PertamaX ~
21:15 - 21:59