b

Episode 2x13 - "Motherboy XXX"

Director: Joe Russo

S2E13: 2708

Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything...

00:00 - 00:04

S2E13: 5375

and the one son who had no choice...

00:04 - 00:06

S2E13: 7625

but to keep them all together.

00:06 - 00:08

S2E13: 23541

in the hopes of avoiding his family.

00:21 - 00:24

S2E13: 27500

His mother, however, was already dressed, made up and waiting for him-

00:24 - 00:28

S2E13: 29833

- Good morning. - Ooh!

00:28 - 00:30

S2E13: 32833

Which put her wake-up time in the 3:00, 3:30 area.

00:30 - 00:34

S2E13: 35791

I couldn't sleep. I always get this way before Motherboy.

00:34 - 00:37

S2E13: 38583

Oh, God. It's Motherboy already?

00:37 - 00:39

S2E13: 41833

Motherboy was a dinner dance aimed at promoting mother-son bonding.

00:39 - 00:44

S2E13: 45958

Lucille had gone over 25 times with Buster...

00:44 - 00:47

S2E13: 49625

and on a few occasions, had won Cutest Couple.

00:47 - 00:51

S2E13: 52750

As one entered sexual maturity, and the other one left it...

00:51 - 00:54

S2E13: 55416

it became harder to win.

00:54 - 00:56

S2E13: 58166

- I'm so hot. - If you were hot, Mother, we would win.

00:56 - 00:59

S2E13: 61500

It's not just Motherboy. It's Motherboy XXX!

00:59 - 01:03

S2E13: 65291

- And I think with you, I've got a shot. - Oh, no.

01:03 - 01:06

S2E13: 68750

- Buster, for the first time ever, doesn't want to do this? - No, he does.

01:07 - 01:10

S2E13: 71583

It's just, he's been so mopey.

01:10 - 01:12

S2E13: 74166

That could have something to do with the fact that a seal ate his hand.

01:12 - 01:15

S2E13: 77291

- I don't know what it is. - I think that's what it is.

01:15 - 01:18

S2E13: 80041

- Who knows? - It was that.

01:18 - 01:21

S2E13: 83041

It had happened weeks earlier when Buster went swimming in the ocean...

01:21 - 01:24

S2E13: 86625

against his mother's wishes.

01:24 - 01:28

S2E13: 89333

He had become haunted by the loss...

01:28 - 01:30

S2E13: 93041

seeing reminders of the accident everywhere.

01:31 - 01:34

S2E13: 105666

Mother, I can't sleep. I may not be able to go to dance practice today.

01:43 - 01:48

S2E13: 109208

I'm going out. Zip me up.

01:48 - 01:50

S2E13: 111291

I mean, look how he zips now.

01:50 - 01:52

S2E13: 113750

I know what this is. You're embarrassed by him, aren't you?

01:52 - 01:55

S2E13: 116166

You spent your whole life over-mothering the guy...

01:55 - 01:57

S2E13: 118166

and when he finally needs you, you're not there.

01:57 - 01:59

S2E13: 120541

Well, I don't see you spending time with him.

01:59 - 02:01

S2E13: 123291

The Bluth children had been uneasy about missing limbs...

02:01 - 02:05

S2E13: 126916

since their father used a one-armed man to teach them lessons.

02:05 - 02:08

S2E13: 129958

That's why you don't yell.

02:08 - 02:11

S2E13: 133250

As a matter of fact, I'm going to see Buster today.

02:11 - 02:15

S2E13: 137000

So you're gonna have to find a different dance partner for Motherboy.

02:15 - 02:18

S2E13: 140333

God. Not that "I'm in love with my mother" dance thing.

02:18 - 02:22

S2E13: 143750

I'm so glad there wasn't one of those for daddies and daughters.

02:22 - 02:25

S2E13: 146958

- Of course they have father-daughter dances. - They do? He never took me?

02:25 - 02:28

S2E13: 150791

It was before we did your nose. Toodle-oo.

02:28 - 02:32

S2E13: 154333

- You're up awful early. - Well, my marriage is falling apart.

02:32 - 02:35

S2E13: 157583

- Tobias is back with Carl. - Tobias had gotten a call...

02:35 - 02:39

S2E13: 161083

from his one-time acting teacher, Carl Weathers.

02:39 - 02:43

S2E13: 165750

He's directing something for TV, but he thinks he might have a part for me.

02:43 - 02:48

S2E13: 170791

If this takes off, I might be able to buy you the happiness that you deserve.

02:48 - 02:52

S2E13: 174250

He said the same thing when he got cast as Frightened Inmate Number Two...

02:52 - 02:55

S2E13: 177083

in that film he got fired from.

02:56 - 02:58

S2E13: 180250

He had even gotten a vanity plate made up announcing the achievement.

02:58 - 03:02

S2E13: 183958

And this wasn't the first time.

03:02 - 03:05

S2E13: 190500

He's so clueless. He's not your real "take charge" husband.

03:08 - 03:12

S2E13: 194166

Lindsay, you're still looking for somebody like Daddy, okay?

03:12 - 03:15

S2E13: 199541

Let's not forget that he was also dismissive and disinterested.

03:15 - 03:19

S2E13: 200708

No. No, he had good qualities.

03:19 - 03:21

S2E13: 203500

Actually, George Sr. Was secretly living...

03:21 - 03:24

S2E13: 206416

- in the attic above them and was starved for company- - Nellie.

03:24 - 03:28

S2E13: 209000

Now-

03:28 - 03:29

S2E13: 211083

who wants to take their top off?

03:29 - 03:32

S2E13: 213750

when George Michael and Maeby came in.

03:32 - 03:35

S2E13: 216708

So you and Ann are actually going on a Christian camping trip?

03:35 - 03:38

S2E13: 219958

It's called the Promise Land. You're supposed to make promises...

03:38 - 03:41

S2E13: 223666

about your relationship as a tribute to the generations that preceded you.

03:41 - 03:45

S2E13: 226833

Hey, there's booze in this.

03:45 - 03:47

S2E13: 229125

That's the Promise Land that Ann's taking you to?

03:47 - 03:50

S2E13: 231541

You're gonna need this more than Polly here.

03:50 - 03:52

S2E13: 235500

- That one's Polly? - Hey! What are you kids doin' up here?

03:52 - 03:57

S2E13: 239000

We're lookin' for the camping stuff. Do you know where the pump is for the air mattress?

03:57 - 04:00

S2E13: 242500

I had to take all pumps out of here a long time ago.

04:00 - 04:04

S2E13: 245208

Take this down to the kitchen, will you?

04:04 - 04:06

S2E13: 247250

I think it's getting too risky keeping you up here.

04:06 - 04:08

S2E13: 249708

You know what's risky? Lettin' your son go on that church thing.

04:08 - 04:11

S2E13: 252458

Her name's Ann, Dad, and he's not "going" on her, okay?

04:11 - 04:13

S2E13: 254625

- They're just friends. - Not for long.

04:13 - 04:15

S2E13: 256708

They're making promises to each other.

04:15 - 04:17

S2E13: 259625

It's all that fidelity and pledging yourself to a woman garbage.

04:17 - 04:21

S2E13: 262833

I wine 'em and dine 'em, but I don't let 'em tell me what to do.

04:21 - 04:24

S2E13: 267041

I don't... let 'em tell me... what to do.

04:24 - 04:29

S2E13: 271666

Okay, I should've never taken the pumps out ofhere.

04:30 - 04:32

S2E13: 274708

Listen, unlike you, I respect my son's choices.

04:32 - 04:36

S2E13: 278541

George Michael, I don't think you should be going on this Promise Land thing.

04:36 - 04:40

S2E13: 281250

What? Why? Because I'd miss school?

04:40 - 04:42

S2E13: 283166

- No. - You get to miss school for that?

04:42 - 04:44

S2E13: 285875

And that's when Maeby decided to become a devout Christian.

04:44 - 04:47

S2E13: 290958

Do you guys know where I could get one of those gold necklaces with the "T" on it?

04:47 - 04:51

S2E13: 292625

- That's a cross. - Across from where?

04:51 - 04:54

S2E13: 295791

Um, it's not about school, pal. It's more about family.

04:54 - 04:57

S2E13: 298875

Your Uncle Buster's been very depressed lately, and you haven't visited him.

04:57 - 05:00

S2E13: 302958

Family first. Or did they not teach you that at the Promise Land?

05:00 - 05:05

S2E13: 306458

- I don't know. You won't let me go. - Attaboy.

05:05 - 05:07

S2E13: 312125

Michael then went to the office, where he ran into Gob.

05:10 - 05:13

S2E13: 315458

Barry come by yet? I need to talk to him about my divorce.

05:13 - 05:17

S2E13: 318125

Gob had once gotten married on a dare...

05:17 - 05:19

S2E13: 320625

a fact he'd only remembered when he was served with divorce papers.

05:19 - 05:23

S2E13: 325250

- That cow is going after me. - Your wife? She was super-thin.

05:23 - 05:26

S2E13: 327458

- She was? - Yeah.

05:26 - 05:28

S2E13: 329166

What about her cans? She have big cans?

05:28 - 05:30

S2E13: 331541

- You don't remember her at all? - It was one night of wild passion.

05:30 - 05:33

S2E13: 334458

- And yet you didn't notice her body. - I like to look in the mirror.

05:33 - 05:36

S2E13: 339166

That would be disgusting if you'd actually slept with her, but I don't think you did.

05:36 - 05:41

S2E13: 343458

- I did! And it was disgusting. - They didn't, but it would have been.

05:41 - 05:45

S2E13: 346875

Anyway, remember that seal of hers that I released into the ocean?

05:45 - 05:48

S2E13: 349125

- Bit off Buster's hand? - Vaguely.

05:48 - 05:50

S2E13: 351583

Her lawyers are claiming that the seal's worth 250 grand.

05:50 - 05:53

S2E13: 354250

And that's not even including Buster's Swatch.

05:53 - 05:55

S2E13: 357166

Listen, Gob, if you admit in court that you never consummated the marriage...

05:55 - 05:59

S2E13: 360333

you can get it annulled and walk away free and clear.

05:59 - 06:01

S2E13: 363166

You just can't deal with the fact that I've got a super-thin wife with huge cans.

06:01 - 06:05

S2E13: 366750

All right. Who's ready to show their lawyer some love?

06:05 - 06:08

S2E13: 369833

The seal? Must've had a tracking device on it.

06:08 - 06:11

S2E13: 372541

Someone tracked it all the way to a dock in Dana Point.

06:11 - 06:13

S2E13: 376000

You know, if that hand is still intact inside the seal, Buster's got a shot at a transplant.

06:13 - 06:18

S2E13: 379958

At the very least, we can get Buster's Swatch back, right?

06:18 - 06:20

S2E13: 381791

Up top. No?

06:20 - 06:22

S2E13: 383750

And Tobias met with Carl Weathers at Burger King.

06:22 - 06:24

S2E13: 385375

And Tobias met with Carl Weathers at Burger King.

06:24 - 06:26

S2E13: 387416

Thanks for meeting me down here at Burger King.

06:26 - 06:28

S2E13: 389708

I'm tryin' to get them to underwrite a new TV project I'm workin' on.

06:28 - 06:31

S2E13: 393125

Get some money in exchange for settin' a scene here in Burger King.

06:31 - 06:34

S2E13: 396250

As long as you don't draw attention to it.

06:34 - 06:37

S2E13: 398875

I'm directing an episode of the series Scandal Makers.

06:37 - 06:40

S2E13: 402041

It's about the Bluth family and your father-in-law's escape from justice.

06:40 - 06:43

S2E13: 405416

- I play the lead- a bounty hunter, name of Ice. - Oh, no.

06:43 - 06:46

S2E13: 408000

You want me to play myself, don't you?

06:46 - 06:49

S2E13: 410083

I swore I'd not go reality.

06:49 - 06:51

S2E13: 413083

- I will do- - No, I already got a great guy named Dave Attell to play you.

06:51 - 06:54

S2E13: 416208

I wasn't actually here to ask you to be in it.

06:54 - 06:56

S2E13: 417958

I'm lookin' for somebody in your family to sign a release.

06:57 - 06:59

S2E13: 422041

I could not betray my family like that.

07:01 - 07:03

S2E13: 425041

Come on, man. I've got every part cast except for George Sr.

07:03 - 07:06

S2E13: 428375

- I want that part. - Then sign over the rights.

07:06 - 07:09

S2E13: 431125

I'm gonna go get a new soda.

07:10 - 07:12

S2E13: 434708

Did you know that you can get a refill on any drink you want here, and it's free?

07:12 - 07:17

S2E13: 438666

It's a wonderful restaurant.

07:17 - 07:19

S2E13: 442166

It sure is. George Michael, meanwhile, spent an afternoon...

07:20 - 07:24

S2E13: 445833

- with his uncle, at his father's suggestion. - King me.

07:24 - 07:27

S2E13: 448625

Oh, God! I keep forgetting about this.

07:27 - 07:29

S2E13: 451750

- Oh, me too. - Well, that's a do-over. So, who should go first?

07:29 - 07:33

S2E13: 454791

I know. Let's rock-paper-scissors for it.

07:33 - 07:35

S2E13: 457416

- No! You would've-You would've won that, so- - Oh.

07:35 - 07:38

S2E13: 461125

George Michael- Buster, did you at least offer your nephew a bowl of soup?

07:39 - 07:43

S2E13: 464250

Yes, Mother, I did.

07:43 - 07:45

S2E13: 466875

- Can I open a can of soup for you? - Can it open a can?

07:45 - 07:48

S2E13: 469833

- Can what open a can? Oh, God! - Oh, God!

07:48 - 07:51

S2E13: 472791

Actually, I just wanted to spend some time with my Knuckle Buster.

07:51 - 07:54

S2E13: 476583

- See, Mother? Not everybody is afraid of me. - Oh, my God!

07:54 - 07:58

S2E13: 481125

Aren't you the sweetest thing, spending some time with what's left of your uncle.

07:58 - 08:03

S2E13: 485541

I was supposed to go away to the Promise Land this weekend, but my dad didn't want me to.

08:03 - 08:07

S2E13: 489208

- Family first. - Well, you've done your duty this week.

08:07 - 08:10

S2E13: 492208

You're a very sympathetic young man.

08:10 - 08:13

S2E13: 496416

Very sympathetic. You know what?

08:15 - 08:17

S2E13: 499375

You deserve to go out of town this weekend, and I'm taking you.

08:17 - 08:21

S2E13: 502875

Really? George Michael should have realized...

08:21 - 08:24

S2E13: 506000

by the sailor suit Lucille dressed him in...

08:24 - 08:27

S2E13: 509125

that he wasn't going north to the Promise Land.

08:27 - 08:30

S2E13: 512375

I can't believe you don't know this song, George Michael.

08:30 - 08:34

S2E13: 516125

No, he was going south.

08:34 - 08:37

S2E13: 519166

- South to Motherboy.

08:38 - 08:40

S2E13: 526166

And Michael and Gob headed out to find the seal with the tracking device.

08:44 - 08:48

S2E13: 530125

I guess we should call Buster and have him meet us at the dock, right?

08:48 - 08:51

S2E13: 533208

I guess so.

08:52 - 08:54

S2E13: 537250

Or we could make sure it's the right seal first?

08:56 - 08:58

S2E13: 539833

- I mean, why get his hopes up? - Yeah, that's better.

08:58 - 09:01

S2E13: 542291

- Knock, knock. - Oh, God!

09:01 - 09:03

S2E13: 544333

- Monster! - Hey, Brothers.

09:03 - 09:05

S2E13: 546458

- Buster. - Bonster!

09:05 - 09:06

S2E13: 548041

- Sorry about the window. - Not a problem.

09:06 - 09:09

S2E13: 552125

I really hate this stupid hook. But I certainly can't walk around like this.

09:09 - 09:14

S2E13: 555958

- Why not? - Very handsome.

09:14 - 09:16

S2E13: 558833

We were just gonna call you. We think we know where the seal is.

09:16 - 09:20

S2E13: 561791

- The seal that did this to me? - Yeah.

09:20 - 09:22

S2E13: 564041

- Take me! - Yes. That's a good idea.

09:22 - 09:25

S2E13: 566666

I'm gonna go with Barry. You should get in here. I'll just go with Barry.

09:25 - 09:28

S2E13: 570666

There's not enough room for you and me and the stump and the thing- stuff. Barry!

09:28 - 09:33

S2E13: 574625

Tobias had gotten his first speaking role...

09:33 - 09:36

S2E13: 578166

simply by signing away the life rights of everyone he loved.

09:36 - 09:40

S2E13: 582000

- And now he needed some research. - I'm George Sr.

09:40 - 09:43

S2E13: 585458

Ooh, that's good. That's the voice. I've got the voice.

09:43 - 09:46

S2E13: 588250

- That's not my voice. - Oh, my God!

09:47 - 09:49

S2E13: 591000

- What are you doing here? - I'm havin' a- tea party.

09:49 - 09:52

S2E13: 595416

What does it look like? I live here. You tell anybody, you are dead.

09:52 - 09:57

S2E13: 598708

Tobias saw the raw power of George Sr.

09:57 - 09:59

S2E13: 602041

Stop licking my hand, you horse's ass.

09:59 - 10:04

S2E13: 606083

Apower he needed the man to teach him. - That's it.

10:04 - 10:07

S2E13: 610166

So he explained the project, and George Sr. Agreed on one condition.

10:08 - 10:12

S2E13: 613416

If you play me, you gotta play me like a man...

10:12 - 10:14

S2E13: 616208

and not some mincing little Polly or Nellie.

10:14 - 10:18

S2E13: 620125

I get those names confused. Apologies. Apologies all around.

10:18 - 10:22

S2E13: 624750

And the search for Buster's hand continued.

10:23 - 10:26

S2E13: 627250

I would love to be able to say "Look what I've had reattached...

10:26 - 10:28

S2E13: 629958

while you and George Michael were off to Motherboy."

10:28 - 10:31

S2E13: 632625

Motherboy? Wait a minute.

10:31 - 10:33

S2E13: 634833

Mom took him to Motherboy?

10:33 - 10:35

S2E13: 638375

He couldn't wait to swoop in and throw on that sailor suit, because he's not damaged goods.

10:35 - 10:40

S2E13: 641541

Wait a minute. I don't want him doing that.

10:40 - 10:42

S2E13: 643666

You gotta go with me down there and help me get him, all right?

10:42 - 10:44

S2E13: 646583

- That place is your scene. - Face it, Michael. They've won.

10:44 - 10:48

S2E13: 649250

He's the new Buster.

10:48 - 10:50

S2E13: 652833

This was the worst thing Michael could possibly hear.

10:50 - 10:53

S2E13: 655833

Oh, I'm so sorry. False alarm. What they tracked down was a shark...

10:53 - 10:58

S2E13: 659666

and he must've bitten off the part of the seal with the tracking device on it.

10:58 - 11:01

S2E13: 663166

- Left flipper. - So, the seal lost his hand too.

11:01 - 11:05

S2E13: 666375

Yeah, poor guy's probably out there without a flipper...

11:05 - 11:07

S2E13: 669541

swimming around in a circle, freaking out his whole family.

11:07 - 11:11

S2E13: 672750

That tracking device tells me he was raised in captivity.

11:11 - 11:14

S2E13: 676291

- There's no way he stood a chance out in the real world. - See that? He was a victim too.

11:14 - 11:18

S2E13: 680291

You both were too sheltered to learn how to protect yourselves...

11:18 - 11:22

S2E13: 683166

and we can't let that happen to George Michael.

11:22 - 11:24

S2E13: 686125

I will help you, Michael. We've got to rescue your son.

11:24 - 11:27

S2E13: 689041

And I've got to staple this to a seal.

11:27 - 11:30

S2E13: 691125

And I've skipped breakfast, so I'm off to Burger King.

11:30 - 11:32

S2E13: 698500

And Lucille arrived at the hotel where Motherboy was taking place.

11:36 - 11:40

S2E13: 702041

This is nice, spending some time, just the two of us.

11:40 - 11:43

S2E13: 705208

Oh- me. The exact same color.

11:43 - 11:47

S2E13: 708250

What are the odds?

11:47 - 11:49

S2E13: 710333

Not to worry. Gangy brought some backups.

11:49 - 11:51

S2E13: 712333

We'll get a room so we can change.

11:51 - 11:53

S2E13: 714833

You think enough time has passed to do Sonny and Cher?

11:53 - 11:56

S2E13: 717375

- Who? - We're here for Motherboy.

11:56 - 11:58

S2E13: 719750

And you do realize this is not the band.

11:58 - 12:00

S2E13: 722333

Motherboy was also a heavy metal band...

12:01 - 12:03

S2E13: 725208

That used to rock pretty hard in the '70s.

12:03 - 12:06

S2E13: 728000

We are legally obligated to make the distinction.

12:06 - 12:09

S2E13: 730291

Maybe I should let my dad know that we're here.

12:09 - 12:11

S2E13: 733416

Oh, he'll know when we bring home the trophy.

12:11 - 12:14

S2E13: 735541

Yeah, but maybe I'll just give him a call.

12:14 - 12:16

S2E13: 738625

And what name shall we put the room under?

12:16 - 12:20

S2E13: 741833

- Karmopolis. - And Lindsay was about to see...

12:20 - 12:23

S2E13: 745208

a Tobias with the raw power of George Sr.

12:23 - 12:26

S2E13: 747916

I sort of want to talk to you about some things.

12:26 - 12:28

S2E13: 750666

It's a little late for talk, Lindsay. I'm a man of action now.

12:28 - 12:32

S2E13: 758375

You don't need the calories.

12:36 - 12:39

S2E13: 763250

This isn't working.

12:42 - 12:44

S2E13: 766666

Is it my imagination, or is he more commanding and mannish?

12:44 - 12:48

S2E13: 770500

It's like- I don't know. Maybe I do want to be with him.

12:48 - 12:52

S2E13: 773458

Then you should go to him. For as it is written...

12:52 - 12:54

S2E13: 777500

you shall be with whom you have formed a more perfect union with under God.

12:54 - 12:59

S2E13: 781000

She's right.

13:00 - 13:02

S2E13: 783416

This isn't working.

13:02 - 13:04

S2E13: 785583

I'm sorry. You've got the wrong Motherboy.

13:04 - 13:06

S2E13: 787666

This looks like the place.

13:06 - 13:08

S2E13: 789791

And Michael and Buster arrived at Motherboy.

13:08 - 13:10

S2E13: 792458

Excuse me. Has a Lucille Bluth checked in?

13:10 - 13:13

S2E13: 795250

- I have no one by that name. - God.

13:14 - 13:16

S2E13: 797625

- She knows you're after her. - She does?

13:16 - 13:18

S2E13: 800083

Wait a minute. I recognize those outfits.

13:18 - 13:21

S2E13: 802750

- We're getting you out of here. - Thank you! Thank you!

13:21 - 13:23

S2E13: 805541

- Oh, God! It's red. - Take me with you! No, please! Please!

13:24 - 13:27

S2E13: 807916

- It's the wrong child. - Where do we go next?

13:27 - 13:29

S2E13: 811250

I will tell you this, Michael. If Mother saw those two, she is going to change clothes.

13:29 - 13:33

S2E13: 814416

And that means he'll be on the balcony.

13:33 - 13:35

S2E13: 817333

Whenever she changed clothes, she made me wait on the balcony until zip-up.

13:35 - 13:39

S2E13: 820458

And yet, anything goes at bath time.

13:39 - 13:41

S2E13: 823000

Let's check the balconies.

13:41 - 13:44

S2E13: 826291

And Barry prepared Gob to meet with his wife.

13:44 - 13:46

S2E13: 830583

is to convince that "wife" of yours...

13:49 - 13:51

S2E13: 832125

that you are willing to go in front of thejudge and admit that you never had sex.

13:51 - 13:54

S2E13: 836458

She has a name, Barry. You don't happen to know what it is by the way, do you?

13:55 - 13:58

S2E13: 840916

That's why I want to settle. I'm not super prepared.

13:59 - 14:02

S2E13: 843125

Well, we did have sex. And I'm not a great liar.

14:02 - 14:05

S2E13: 847375

Both things hejust said were lies.

14:06 - 14:08

S2E13: 849041

- But if you think it'll scare her off. - I do, and it will.

14:08 - 14:11

S2E13: 852458

And you don't want to go in front of that judge. I caught him in a drag club.

14:11 - 14:14

S2E13: 856291

- What were you doin' there? - Wow. You should be the lawyer.

14:14 - 14:18

S2E13: 865083

And soon, Michael and Buster surveyed the hotel...

14:23 - 14:26

S2E13: 866583

Iooking for George Michael.

14:26 - 14:28

S2E13: 869750

There's a very bored-looking little Sonny Bono on that balcony.

14:28 - 14:31

S2E13: 872458

Oh, God. That means she'll be dressed like Cher.

14:31 - 14:33

S2E13: 874916

I have an idea.

14:33 - 14:37

S2E13: 880958

It is time I used something I trained for in army, but I never got a chance to do.

14:37 - 14:42

S2E13: 884166

- You cannot zip-line over there! - Either I zip down or he zips up!

14:42 - 14:46

S2E13: 887708

And that is a mighty long zipper on Mother's Cher jumpsuit.

14:46 - 14:48

S2E13: 889166

You have to get on your knees to start it.

14:48 - 14:50

S2E13: 892125

This is much less scary. Godspeed, Buster.

14:51 - 14:53

S2E13: 900333

One, two, three-

14:58 - 15:01

S2E13: 903208

You came for me!

15:01 - 15:04

S2E13: 905666

Zip me up.

15:04 - 15:06

S2E13: 915250

We're switching rooms again. And costumes.

15:13 - 15:17

S2E13: 921500

Tobias had begun work on the set of Scandal Makers.

15:20 - 15:22

S2E13: 924833

What's so great about Tobias is he's got this obligation to his wife and daughter.

15:23 - 15:26

S2E13: 928041

- Whoa. This guy's straight? - Yeah.

15:26 - 15:29

S2E13: 930916

Then what the hell am I wearin' these for? Look at that.

15:29 - 15:32

S2E13: 933833

Hey, gang. I'm sorry. I don't want to note you to death...

15:32 - 15:35

S2E13: 936625

but you should be wearing those under your pants.

15:35 - 15:37

S2E13: 939916

- Why? - It's a thing. There's dozens of us.

15:38 - 15:41

S2E13: 943000

This whole thing is startin' to feel like a real career killer.

15:41 - 15:44

S2E13: 945166

- Yeah, I know, man. - Also, l-

15:44 - 15:46

S2E13: 947708

Tobias, why don't you go learn your lines, man? Work on them.

15:46 - 15:49

S2E13: 950458

Did I get lines? God!

15:49 - 15:51

S2E13: 952666

They told me I was just jumping onto a moving stair car.

15:51 - 15:53

S2E13: 955250

If that man's straight, then I am sober.

15:53 - 15:56

S2E13: 958166

Hi. Um, I'm waiting for "Gawb" Bluth.

15:56 - 15:59

S2E13: 960750

I'm Gob Bluth. My wife send you?

15:59 - 16:01

S2E13: 963125

- I'm your wife. - I knew that.

16:01 - 16:04

S2E13: 966041

Nice to see you again, Usarmy.

16:04 - 16:07

S2E13: 969666

You lost a lot of weight in Iraq, especially up in the northern region.

16:07 - 16:11

S2E13: 973083

- So where's the seal? - Hey, that's not my problem.

16:11 - 16:14

S2E13: 976083

As far as I'm concerned, we were never even married.

16:14 - 16:17

S2E13: 978875

Maybe I'll just say that we never sealed the deal.

16:17 - 16:20

S2E13: 981958

- You're willing to admit that? - Lie about it? Yes.

16:20 - 16:23

S2E13: 985041

Wow. I mis-underestimated you.

16:23 - 16:26

S2E13: 988500

You've got some courage. Makes me wonder what I'm missing.

16:26 - 16:30

S2E13: 991625

You mean, other than your cans?

16:30 - 16:32

S2E13: 993833

No. They're still here.

16:32 - 16:35

S2E13: 996625

And so Gob set about consummating...

16:35 - 16:37

S2E13: 999541

the marriage he'd finally agreed to claim he hadn't.

16:38 - 16:40

S2E13: 1006041

And back at Motherboy XXX, Lucille was finding her new partner an asset.

16:43 - 16:48

S2E13: 1010208

- Is this your son? - No, I'm his grandmother.

16:48 - 16:51

S2E13: 1012833

- He's an orphan. - Oh, I'm so sorry.

16:51 - 16:53

S2E13: 1015625

- Well, you guys should win. - I'm not an orphan. I have a dad.

16:53 - 16:57

S2E13: 1018625

Well, good luck to you.

16:57 - 16:59

S2E13: 1023666

Well, that little bit of honesty helped nothing.

17:02 - 17:04

S2E13: 1026375

You'd better bring it to the waltz, young man.

17:04 - 17:07

S2E13: 1029916

Meanwhile, Michael and Buster had retrieved Buster's hook...

17:07 - 17:11

S2E13: 1033375

and were staking out the situation.

17:11 - 17:14

S2E13: 1035916

Gypsies.

17:14 - 17:17

S2E13: 1039458

Hey.

17:17 - 17:20

S2E13: 1042250

They've changed into gypsies. My army training...

17:20 - 17:23

S2E13: 1046166

tells me that this is going to be a hot mission.

17:23 - 17:28

S2E13: 1049750

- One hot mission. - Yes.

17:28 - 17:30

S2E13: 1052750

I create a diversion, and you grab George Michael and go.

17:31 - 17:34

S2E13: 1056083

We need a name.

17:34 - 17:37

S2E13: 1059583

Maybe "Operation Hot Mother."

17:37 - 17:41

S2E13: 1063791

- No, let's try to top that. - They never did.

17:41 - 17:45

S2E13: 1067750

And later, Operation Hot Mother was underway.

17:46 - 17:49

S2E13: 1070916

Buster was waiting for Michael's cue to unplug the lights.

17:49 - 17:52

S2E13: 1074666

But that's when Buster caught his hook on a sandbag.

17:52 - 17:56

S2E13: 1077791

Hey!

17:56 - 17:59

S2E13: 1083000

And now from the land of gypsies, Lucille Bluth and her orphaned grandson.

18:01 - 18:05

S2E13: 1086583

What the hell's goin' on, Buster? Cut the lights!

18:05 - 18:07

S2E13: 1093666

- Buster? - Grab him! Take the gypsy boy!

18:12 - 18:15

S2E13: 1096750

- I'm taking you out of here. Let's go. - They haven't served dinner yet.

18:15 - 18:18

S2E13: 1099041

- George Michael. - You're not taking him.

18:18 - 18:19

S2E13: 1101458

- Take me with you! - What are you doin'? I can't.

18:20 - 18:22

S2E13: 1104166

Get off of me! Buster, let's get out of here.

18:23 - 18:25

S2E13: 1107166

I'm stuck. Go. Take the boy. Go!

18:25 - 18:28

S2E13: 1110583

All right, Motherboys. Our curtain seems to be stuck.

18:29 - 18:31

S2E13: 1113708

We're going to do some freestyle waltzing while we get it fixed.

18:31 - 18:35

S2E13: 1117041

Boys' choice.

18:35 - 18:38

S2E13: 1119958

- George Michael, you're choosing me. - No, Mom.

18:38 - 18:41

S2E13: 1122875

You had no right to bring him to this freak show. He was supposed to be visiting Buster.

18:41 - 18:44

S2E13: 1125375

No, you were supposed to be visiting Buster...

18:44 - 18:46

S2E13: 1127833

but you made your son do it because you didn't want to.

18:46 - 18:48

S2E13: 1130083

- You were supposed to do it? - You didn't want to?

18:49 - 18:51

S2E13: 1133625

No. Buster, l- I didn't know how to, uh, treat you, all right?

18:51 - 18:55

S2E13: 1137625

I thought that you would be a little different, but you're not.

18:56 - 18:58

S2E13: 1140291

I was wrong, okay? I'm sorry.

18:59 - 19:01

S2E13: 1143583

You know, you're as good a brother as you ever were.

19:01 - 19:05

S2E13: 1147250

- Thank you. - All right?

19:05 - 19:08

S2E13: 1150791

Yes. I am no different. I am the same old Motherboy.

19:08 - 19:12

S2E13: 1153833

George Michael still has a chance. Take him!

19:12 - 19:15

S2E13: 1158958

Thanks. Let's go.

19:17 - 19:20

S2E13: 1161666

Boys' choice?

19:20 - 19:22

S2E13: 1165541

That is, if you're not embarrassed to take my hook.

19:23 - 19:28

S2E13: 1169166

Of course not.

19:28 - 19:30

S2E13: 1174916

I'm Peter Pan, and you're Captain Hook.

19:33 - 19:36

S2E13: 1178791

We'll pretend it's a costume. Let's dance.

19:36 - 19:40

S2E13: 1186708

And that night, Michael, his brother and his son...

19:45 - 19:48

S2E13: 1192750

I appreciate you taking me up here to see Ann.

19:51 - 19:53

S2E13: 1194750

- A promise is a promise. And I'm glad the three of us... - Yeah.

19:53 - 19:55

S2E13: 1201208

- And I finally feel good about myself. "Saddest." - And I saw some of those people.

19:58 - 20:04

S2E13: 1204750

- That was a very competitive category. - Oh, don't I know it.

20:04 - 20:07

S2E13: 1208000

- Here we go. - I can't get out, actually.

20:07 - 20:09

S2E13: 1210875

On the next Arrested Development.

20:09 - 20:11

S2E13: 1214083

Lindsay finds herself strangely compelled to be with Tobias.

20:12 - 20:16

S2E13: 1217666

I have never been more attracted to you.

20:16 - 20:19

S2E13: 1220125

Wow. The service sent you over fast.

20:19 - 20:21

S2E13: 1222458

Oh, God. I'm so sorry. I'm in the wrong trailer.

20:21 - 20:23

S2E13: 1224875

But not the one she's married to.

20:23 - 20:25

S2E13: 1227583

So you don't cry when you take those off?

20:25 - 20:28

S2E13: 1230625

Having finally had sex, Gob can admit...

20:29 - 20:32

S2E13: 1233416

he never consummated their marriage.

20:32 - 20:34

S2E13: 1237083

Judge, maybe you should take a look at this. It was taken in your office just moments ago.

20:34 - 20:39

S2E13: 1241375

- But Gob catches a lucky break. - There's no way to tell who this man is.

20:39 - 20:42

S2E13: 1244041

But it doesn't last long.

20:43 - 20:45

S2E13: 1246416

That's me, Your Honor. L- my wife.

20:45 - 20:47

S2E13: 1249333

We really lost this case.

20:47 - 20:50

S2E13: 1251625

And Maeby impresses the kids at the Promise Land...

20:51 - 20:53

S2E13: 1255541

with her one scary campfire story.

20:54 - 20:56

S2E13: 1258625

Knock, scrape. The only thing more terrifying...

20:57 - 21:00

S2E13: 1262500

than the escaped lunatic's hook was his twisted call!

21:00 - 21:03

S2E13: 1265291

Hey, campers.

21:03 - 21:06

S2E13: 1272625

I'm a monster!

21:10 - 21:13

S2E13: 1274708

This may have been a step backwards.

21:13 - 21:15

S2E13: 1306833

...boy

21:44 - 21:47