Episode 2x11 - "Out on a Limb"
Director: Danny Leiner
Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything...
00:01 - 00:04
and the one son who had no choice...
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but to keep them all together.
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It's Arrested Development.
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Michael was having brunch with Sally Sitwell.
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I still can't believe we got in. This place is usually so packed on Sundays.
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In addition to its Sunday popularity...
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the bistro was also famous for something called the Skip's Scramble-
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an egg dish that contained everything on the menu.
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Don't order the Skip's Scramble.
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Just more good luck. Everything's been going so well since we started goin'out.
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I think we've actually gone out eight times now.
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Which included a record-tying...
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three lovemaking sessions in one night for Michael.
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- Yes! - Just think...
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how different everything in our lives would be if we'd gotten together in high school.
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Of course, I wouldn't have had George Michael.
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We probably would've had an entirely different kind of child.
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I really hope he's okay with us goin' out.
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We're very close. We don't keep anything from each other.
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Oh, no, it's my Dad. I'm supposed to be at work.
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You know, George Michael, you worry too much.
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It's Sunday. You're allowed to have a couple of hours off.
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You don't see me nervous about being on my third Virgin Mary.
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Why would you be nervous? There's no alcohol in a Virgin Mary.
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There isn't? This is unbelievable.
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Can I get a virgin piña colada when you get a chance?
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Now we'll get things started.
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Hi. This is so, uh- I was just-
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Hey, okay.
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I want to introduce you to Sally. This is George Michael.
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- My niece, Maeby. - It's nice to meet you.
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I just shut down the banana stand for a half an hour.
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- I can keep it open late tonight if you- - No. Hey. Come on.
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Make me sound like a taskmaster.
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But if- if you want to keep it open an extra hour, you know.
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So, this is Sally.
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- Is she your girlfriend? - No.
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- Yes! - A little.
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You know what? I'm gonna meet you in a few minutes, okay?
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- Okay. - And maybe we'll work on breaking that record, huh?
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Okay.
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She's a shot-putter. And I'm dating her.
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But I just want to make sure that you're comfortable with everything.
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Well, of course. We could double-date. You and Sally and me and Ann.
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- Who? - W-Ann.
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- Yes. Yes. - Yeah, we had-
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Of course I know Ann. Yeah, see, I didn't mean "who."
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I meant, uh, "her." That's a great idea.
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- I love Ann. - Great.
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Excuse me, ma'am.
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George Michael, you said that you couldn't come to church...
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because you were working, and now you're doing neither?
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That's quite a lot of sins for a Sunday afternoon, don't you think?
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- Your virgin piña colada. - And now you're drinking?
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No. We're just having a little fun, you know.
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I think the church and studying are fun.
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- I thought you felt the same. - Well, I do.
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L- I like not having fun.
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I like your idea of fun, I mean.
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Our idea of fun. I like not having that.
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I'm going back to church.
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Well, she just killed my buzz.
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So, you're still enjoying this relationship?
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I mean, I guess we've lost some of the heat since we have kissed.
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I mean, how do you relight that fire?
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But I can't break up with her. I always assumed she would break up with me.
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Well, we may have to find a way to speed that process up.
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And later that day, Michael caught Lindsay up...
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on the emotional bond he was forming with Sally.
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Oh, big deal, three times. I've had three times plenty of times.
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Yes!
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Did you call my name?
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Absolutely not.
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I just hope that George Michael is really okay with it.
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I think you're looking for a reason this isn't going to work...
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because you can't handle happiness, and you like to suffer.
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Oh, how delicious!
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Oh, hey, let's not spin in the comfy chair.
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Look at this delicious piece of irony. I'm being sued for divorce.
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- Me. - Thought you were single?
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Yeah, I keep forgetting that I got married.
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Gob met a woman one night.
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And after a series of escalating dares, married her.
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Yes, but it's all coming back to me now.
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She was a seal dealer.
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She raised and sold seals to aquariums and marine parks, that sort of thing.
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Then she went off to fight her war and left me to look after them.
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It was while in the service that her penchant for daring...
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found a natural outlet.
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I've never known you to look after a seal.
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Turns out it's a major hassle. Tried to include one in my act once.
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There's a reason you don't typically see live seals in a magic show.
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So with a simple wave of my-
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Oh, look-it over... there.
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Well, one of the "Desperate Housewives," looking so desperate.
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So I released them from whence they came, and now she's stomping on my heart.
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- What's her first name? Quickly. - Krindy.
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Name's not Krindy, Gob.
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Ah, Saul Zentsman. No, that's her lawyer.
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Well, she's got a name. And I'm gonna find out what it is...
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and then I'm gonna make a pun on it, and that's what I'll call her.
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Bad example- if her name's Amy, I'll call her Blamy.
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That's a strong defense. I'll tell you what.
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I'll help you look for Barry tomorrow. I think Dad prepaid him...
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for Lindsay and Tobias's divorce anyway.
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Look at us. Three relationships, all falling apart.
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Maybe it's time we actually took some responsibility for that.
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- I think it's Mom's fault. - I was gonna say the exact same thing.
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No, that's not a spinner.
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So this is how my children speak of me when I'm not here.
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- What are you doin' here, Mom? - Your brother Buster...
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wants to meet me at the beach tomorrow.
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Do you know what this is about? Because if it's about going in the ocean...
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the answer is no, he's not going in the ocean.
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Well, there are bigger dangers, Mom.
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Like, say, signing him up for the army during wartime.
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What the hell was I supposed to do?
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Michael Moore confronted me in front of the whole country.
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And it wasn't in front of the whole country.
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It was for a bit on Jimmy Kimmel Live.
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I don't know who that is, and I don't care to find out.
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But the next day, she did find out what Buster wanted.
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Okay, I think we have enough of you two kissing.
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Oh, I can't believe you hired a photographer.
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We haven't done this since the Balboa Bay Window magazine.
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So, I wanted you to have a recent picture of me...
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because they want to ship me out tomorrow with army.
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What? To where?
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Iraq. And I just might be out of options.
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I don't want to go, but they keep-
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I know what this is about. You want to go swimming in the ocean.
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Well, you can forget it.
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- I don't think that's what this is about. - Yes, it is.
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He's trying to punish me or something.
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- Whatever happened to "Keepin' It Fresh"? - I was 30 years old then, Mother.
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I'm 32 now! And I'm not trying to teach you a lesson.
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Well, I may not have been a perfect mother.
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But, you know, kids don't come with a handbook.
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In fact, there are thousands ofbooks written on child-rearing.
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But Lucille was in denial.
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If he wants to go swimming, let him.
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And Buster was far from ready to go swimming in the ocean.
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And later, Michael and Gob tracked down their attorney...
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- Barry Zuckerkorn. - Thank you so much for coming down here.
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I've got a big case. I'm representing Skip Church's restaurant.
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- I don't care. - A waitress that works there is claiming...
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that by eating Skip's Scramble several times a week is making her a fatty.
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We need to speak to you about getting a divorce for Gob.
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- Oh, well, I got Michael out of his marriage, didn't I? - Actually, she died.
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- You're kidding. I've been taking credit for that for years. - Credit?
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- Who's their lawyer? - Saul Zentsman. Do you know him?
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I have Chinese with him every Friday night at Miss Temple's.
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- He's tough. - I just want my wife back.
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Save it for the stand, okay, Tom Jane?
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Fine. I'll get into this as soon as I lose this case.
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You know who's defending the fatty? Maggie Lizer.
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Maggie Lizer, our old prosecutor?
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Michael had an affair with Maggie Lizer...
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while she was both pretending to be blind and prosecuting the family.
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It was with her he'd first set the three-time record.
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Yes!
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Their relationship ended somewhat abruptly.
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- Wow. How does she look? - Well, she's get-
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If you ask me, bigger.
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- She was bigger- - Are you sure you're okay to go on?
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Because she was pregnant.
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It's not my belly we have to worry about, Your Honor.
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It's Loretta's.
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Being tempted day in and day out by those Skip's Scrambles.
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Bring 'em in, boys.
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Oh, I'm cooked. They love her.
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Tell you the truth, I preferred it when she was blind.
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And so, Michael caught up with his onetime lover.
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How you doin'? Wow, you look... fantastic.
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Wow. Haven't seen you since we had an affair and you ruined my career.
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Yeah, I was gonna call you a couple of times, and then I just-
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I got to thinking, uh, "What if she brings that up?"
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To tell you the truth, I am so relieved not to be pretending to be blind anymore.
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It's actually taught me not to rely on cheap tricks to get the jury's sympathy.
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I'm sorry. I know I'm not supposed to do this...
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but we just spend so much time in that box.
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- I knitted you something. - Oh, Juror Number Four!
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Gosh, thank you. I feel so bad I fought so hard to keep you off the jury.
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- Oh- - Ms. Lizer, can I see you in my chambers?
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Oh. Yes, Your Honor.
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In fact, Judge Ping had a gift for Maggie too-
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an Ocean-Sounds Toddler Rocker he'd asked his bailiff to assemble.
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Too bad the trial's not going longer. She could've knit you something that fit.
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I know. I'm so big now.
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No, no, come on. They look great.
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You look great. You look fantastic.
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Last time I saw you was in that jury box right there, wasn't it?
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- Wasn't it like a year ago? - Oh, Chip, you know what?
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Can you take this back to my house?
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Actually, it's been about eight and a half months.
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I see somebody has been counting the, uh-
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Eight and a half months. Wow. Really? Could've sworn it was a year.
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Michael had just learned...
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that the woman he'd been intimate with eight and a half months earlier...
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was eight-and-a-half months pregnant.
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- Didn't I use something? - No.
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You thought I was blind, remember?
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Don't worry. You're not the father, Michael.
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- No problem. - Really?
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- Right. - You sure? I mean, uh-
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I could be. What if I was? Don't you want to discuss this maybe?
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Michael, I haven't heard from you.
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L- I really don't want to hear from you now.
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Listen, if you're interested, come to the baptism.
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You can hurl a Bible at the baby.
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And that night, Michael met up with Sally...
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where he felt he needed to be honest with her.
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Sally...
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you need to know about my child.
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George Michael. He approves.
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No, there may be another child in the mix.
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I ran into an ex. We had a very messed up relationship.
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It was based totally on lies. But she's pregnant.
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She said something that led me to believe that it might be mine.
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- But you said she was a liar. - Sh-She is.
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She said it wasn't mine, so-
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- Why are you telling me this? - Well, because obviously...
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if it is my child, I'm gonna have to be responsible for it...
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and that's going to make things awfully complicated for us.
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Michael, you know what? You're always looking for things to get between us.
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First, it was "What's your son gonna think?"
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And now you think you're having a baby...
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because a woman who lies told you you weren't.
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That's a great way to say that. We really do communicate well, do you know that?
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Are you insane? You broke up with her because...
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somebody who doesn't want you might be pregnant with your baby?
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No, Sally broke up with me. And as for Maggie...
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I didn't even know that she was pregnant when I first saw her.
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All I could see was her giant chest- box.
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She had this- Some people call it a chest. I call it a box.
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She was holding this giant box. Maybe I should've just stayed out of it.
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She did make it pretty clear that she doesn't want me around.
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Come on, Michael. She's probably not even pregnant.
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Pregnant women tend not to do that.
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It did say "60 pounds" on it.
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Okay, l-I've done this wrong.
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I should've found out whether it was a real pregnancy before I told my dream girl about it.
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You know what I do, Mike? Check their urine.
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Make 'em pee in a cup, and pee in a cup right in front of me.
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Yeah, well, thanks, Gob. But, uh, I think we should just keep on lookin'.
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I don't know how I can make that sound like me.
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So you get someone to break into her house, rig the toilet...
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collect the pee, test it, and expose the lie.
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I mean, I'd do it, but I'm goin' through a divorce here, guy.
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Oh, a pregnancy test.
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There's something we never had, huh, Lindsay? Oh, no.
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We had to create our little Frankenstein monster...
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out of science and money and just a dash of-
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Maeby, what- H-How long have you been standing there?
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- I just walked in. - Just walked in.
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Seems like only yesterday you were bursting forth from your mother's fertile womb.
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You know what? Tobias and I will break into her house and get the specimen.
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- We've been looking for a little excitement. - Yeah!
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It'll be fun. We will be like Tracy and Hepburn.
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- "What do you say, you old poop?" - Oh, God, he's Hepburn.
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I am done with Buster.
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He pushes my buttons. That's all he does.
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He also zips you up and sands your elbows.
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Not anymore. No, no, no. He's pretending he's going to war.
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Mr. Big Shot. God knows what he's really doing.
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Wait a minute. He said he's going to war? Aren't you worried?
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Oh, you're sounding like your uncle.
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And I've had enough of his attitude too.
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- The boy is going to war. You're gonna have to face that. - It's none of your business!
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He is my boy!
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- I need macaroons. - Oh, you're high!
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Oh, well, you can win every argument like that, but that does not make you right.
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I don't want you telling him you're his father! I need ice!
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Can't you see you're in denial?
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- You're high! - You're drunk!
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- Where did Buster say he was going? - Iraq.
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Which is a shot at your father. Thank God he's not here to hear this.
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Excuse me one second.
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- It's the pipes. - You know, Mother Lucille...
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there's a psychological concept...
13:42 - 13:45
known as denial that I believe you're evincing.
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It's when a thought is so hateful...
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that the mind literally rejects it.
13:51 - 13:54
You are a worse psychiatrist than you are a son-in-law...
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and you will never get work as an actor...
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because you have no talent.
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Well, if she's not going to say anything, I certainly can't help her.
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And Maeby saw a way to help her cousin.
14:08 - 14:11
I know how to get rid of Ann. You put her in a room with Gangy.
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- She'll criticize her away. - But what would Gangy have to criticize about Ann?
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Oh, George Michael-
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In the attic, Michael met with George Sr...
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- who'd overheard about Buster. - He can't go. You can't let him.
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I command you.
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I really hate it when you put on the God costume.
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George Sr. Had always worn the God costume...
14:30 - 14:32
at the annual Living Classics Pageant...
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where he and Buster re-created Michelangelo's The Creation of Adam.
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What if I never get a chance to reach out and touch that hand of his again?
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- I gotta go to him. - Pop, you're a wanted man.
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You cannot risk leaving the attic all the time.
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Oh, when? When have I ever left the attic?
14:49 - 14:51
Two days ago. Right? Saw you floating around the Ford dealership.
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Yeah, well, have you seen the new Ford Mustang?
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You could hump that hood.
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And Michael set the plan in motion to get...
14:59 - 15:02
- Maggie out ofher house. - Hi, Maggie.
15:02 - 15:04
- Are you blind again? - For the pizza guy.
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I give him a five. I tell him to keep the change.
15:07 - 15:09
What are you doin' here, Michael? I'm with a client.
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- Is that the pizza? - No!
15:12 - 15:14
You'll get your pizza.
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She's taking the stand tomorrow. I want to make sure it creaks.
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There's so much I don't understand about the law.
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Look, Maggie, if this child is mine, I really need to know.
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So can you spare a few minutes for someone who might be the father of your baby?
15:26 - 15:29
Of course I can.
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- Okay. - But it's not you.
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Oh, for God's sakes.
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Oh, come on!
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Fine. Let me get Miss Fat Ass outta here...
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- and I'll meet you in the car. - Okay.
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Meanwhile, on the other side of Maggie's house...
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Lindsay and Tobias were putting their plan into action.
15:51 - 15:55
- I'm cloaking myself in her scent. - Oh! She's not blind.
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Well, she was when she bought this.
15:58 - 15:59
- Oh, my God! That's her! - Get in the tub!
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Buster, meanwhile, received an unexpected visitor.
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I want you to know that it's okay for you to hide.
16:09 - 16:12
A man can hide. There's a quiet courage in that.
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You're a good uncle.
16:16 - 16:18
I'm not your uncle. I'm your father.
16:18 - 16:21
- What? - Shh. Shh. Quiet courage.
16:21 - 16:24
Quiet courage. Hide.
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But Buster was confused.
16:26 - 16:29
You lied to me. Uncle Oscar's my father.
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He just told me so. And maybe you're not even my real mother.
16:31 - 16:34
For all I know, Lucille 2 is my real mother. Oh!
16:34 - 16:37
Buster, you were never supposed to know.
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Oh, yeah? Well, here's something you should know. I'm going to war!
16:40 - 16:43
Buster had just discovered he'd been lied to by his parents.
16:48 - 16:51
I'm going to war!
16:51 - 16:53
- You told him you were his father! - I did no such thing!
16:53 - 16:55
- You're high! - You're drunk!
16:56 - 16:58
George.
16:59 - 17:01
He must've come here to say good-bye to Buster.
17:01 - 17:04
And that's when Lucille snapped out ofher denial.
17:04 - 17:07
My baby's going to war.
17:07 - 17:09
Lindsay and Tobias were gathering evidence...
17:10 - 17:12
that Maggie was truly pregnant.
17:12 - 17:14
And they were having fun doing it.
17:14 - 17:16
That's the first time we were in the shower since our honeymoon.
17:16 - 17:19
And this time, no tears.
17:19 - 17:21
Tobias, this is the box that Michael was talking about. "60 pounds."
17:21 - 17:24
But it didn't weigh 60 pounds.
17:24 - 17:28
Michael was stalling Maggie, and they were also having fun.
17:28 - 17:32
Sally Sitwell? You know, I think I had her little play oven.
17:32 - 17:35
Yeah, I know. It's a funny name. But she's a doll.
17:35 - 17:38
Yeah, I had one.
17:38 - 17:40
If you pull her hair, she'd cry or something.
17:40 - 17:42
This one kinda does that too.
17:43 - 17:44
- Hello. - We got the pee, and we're gonna get it checked.
17:44 - 17:47
But, listen, you should know that that box that says "60 pounds"-
17:47 - 17:51
it's actually like two pounds.
17:51 - 17:53
I think she's pregnant, Michael. I mean, there's baby stuff here and-
17:53 - 17:56
Tobias, stop it. That's for the baby. It's not-
17:56 - 17:59
- We're having a really good time. - Yeah?
17:59 - 18:01
- Well, I kind of am too. - Bye.
18:01 - 18:04
So, no more lies. Tell me the truth.
18:05 - 18:07
If-lf that baby is mine, maybe we're meant to be together.
18:07 - 18:11
Of course it is, Michael.
18:13 - 18:15
But that's when the Fünkes discovered what was in the box...
18:17 - 18:20
that was so easy to lift.
18:20 - 18:22
- That's what it is. - Okay, the box was light 'cause it had a fake stomach in it.
18:25 - 18:28
It looks like she's faking it. Oh, God. I hope you get this.
18:28 - 18:31
Wait up, please.
18:31 - 18:33
And George Michael and Maeby brought Ann to the penthouse...
18:33 - 18:36
in hopes that Lucille would drive her away.
18:36 - 18:39
Isn't Ann great?
18:39 - 18:41
- Oh, she's lovely. - Unfortunately...
18:41 - 18:42
she was distracted by the thought oflosing Buster.
18:43 - 18:45
Hey, do you have any bread pudding?
18:45 - 18:47
'Cause you'd be surprised how much this one can put away.
18:47 - 18:50
- Ha! - Now that Buster's not here, there's no one to finish it.
18:50 - 18:54
I don't care if I ever eat again.
18:54 - 18:57
You know, when times are tough...
19:04 - 19:06
you can always turn to the power of prayer.
19:06 - 19:09
Here we go.
19:10 - 19:12
Show me.
19:12 - 19:15
This was a big get for God...
19:15 - 19:18
and Michael brought Maggie home to meet his son.
19:18 - 19:20
This is gonna be easy. He's been signing off on everyone lately. Maybe he called.
19:20 - 19:23
Hey, so what's the deal on Zuckerkorn?
19:23 - 19:26
'Cause you know my fat case- it's really pretty thin.
19:26 - 19:28
- Lying, untrustworthy- - Yeah.
19:29 - 19:32
Plus, I heard he hangs out at rest stops.
19:32 - 19:34
No, no. I'm talkin' about you, Maggie.
19:34 - 19:36
You're a liar. You lie.
19:38 - 19:40
Well, I mean, I heard he hangs out at rest stops. Okay-
19:40 - 19:43
And I keep buying it too. And so maybe there is something wrong with me.
19:43 - 19:47
I thought we were startin' to trust each other.
19:47 - 19:49
I got a message from my sister saying there's a box at your house with a fat suit in it.
19:49 - 19:53
- What've you got? A different one for each trimester? - You had your sister...
19:53 - 19:56
- break into my house? - Which one are you wearin' right now?
19:56 - 19:59
Is this the ready-to-burst model?
19:59 - 20:01
Now, there's zero trust here. Good-bye.
20:01 - 20:04
It's been fun-
20:04 - 20:07
not. - Michael had hoped something more dramatic...
20:07 - 20:10
would have come out ofhis mouth.
20:10 - 20:12
Or at least more current.
20:12 - 20:14
Oh, you're so right, Michael. I really can't be trusted.
20:14 - 20:17
'Cause I'm fakin' it-
20:17 - 20:19
not.
20:21 - 20:23
Hello, Michael. Well, my wife and I...
20:26 - 20:28
finally had the thrill of seeing a plus sign on a pregnancy test.
20:28 - 20:33
You're gonna be a daddy!
20:33 - 20:35
On the next Arrested Development.
20:37 - 20:39
Barry gets a big break on his case.
20:39 - 20:42
The fat girl in my Skip Church's case? Not fat.
20:42 - 20:44
The attorney bought her a fat suit. Oh! I've got another case.
20:44 - 20:47
Maggie is suing you for paternity.
20:47 - 20:49
And for the first time, Lucille prays.
20:49 - 20:52
Take something else from us. Do whatever you have to...
20:52 - 20:55
to keep my boy from going to war.
20:55 - 20:57
And Buster is on his way...
20:57 - 20:59
when he decides to pursue a long-delayed rite of passage.
20:59 - 21:02
Loose seal! Watch out for loose seal!
21:04 - 21:07
I don't care about Lucille!
21:07 - 21:09
She lies!
21:09 - 21:11
And then a seal bites offhis hand.
21:11 - 21:13
Aaa-
21:13 - 21:14
...men.
21:14 - 21:16