Episode 1x18 - "Missing Kitty"
Director: Joe Russo
Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything...
00:01 - 00:04
and the one son who had no choice...
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but to keep them all together.
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It's Arrested Development.
00:13 - 00:15
Against his betterjudgment, Michael had recently set out...
00:18 - 00:22
to have an uncomplicated one-night stand with this woman.
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And at his brother's suggestion, he gave a false identity.
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And what started as a night of passion with no strings attached...
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got complicated the next morning when Michael found out she was blind.
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He decided to keep seeing her so as not to appear superficial.
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- If it's a one-night stand, I'm not very good at it. - Wow.
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But aren't you busy with the trial and everything?
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Unfortunately, the woman also turned out to be his father's prosecutor.
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And so, Michael went to Maggie's to reveal his identity.
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Meanwhile, Michael's son, George Michael...
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discovered that his cousin Maeby had been living a double life.
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Maeby, what are you doing?
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I still don't get why you're pretending to be two people, and why is one of you sick?
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- Hey, you don't get giant checks if you're healthy. - Please welcome Surely Fünke.
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Plus, who's going to get mad at the dying girl?
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- Surely's dying? - I figure I'll kill her off just before graduation.
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- Just so everyone gets really sad before prom. - Someone's going to get hurt.
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Not to mention it's kind of disrespectful for kids who actually have this.
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- Not a lot of kids have B.S. these days. - What does that stand for?
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I don't know. It's B.S.
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Michael wrestled with the dilemma...
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of whether he should look at the evidence file of the case against his father.
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- Michael. - Hey, Gob. What the hell are you wearing?
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What? Oh, this...
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The wife likes me in bright sweaters.
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Gob, in a series of escalating dares...
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recently got married to a woman he had only known for an evening.
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Your wife? She's still your wife?
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Well, I went to break up with her last night, but my timing was not great.
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- So, I think we should talk. - My parents are getting a divorce.
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Why aren't you wearing that sweater I bought you?
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- What, you don't like it? - No. Of course I like it.
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just because I like it doesn't mean I have to wear it. I don't wear everything I like.
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Why don't we just get a divorce? Everybody else is.
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No! We're not getting divorced.
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She really wants to stay together, so...
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Well, least you finally consummated it, huh?
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"Consummated."
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What is up with that "prosecutie"?
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- I hope you didn't break up with her? - No, I didn't.
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And to make matters worse, she gave me this.
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It's a summary of the evidence that they have against Dad.
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Okay, Michael. This makes matters better.
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Let's just destroy it and move on with our lives.
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This is not the actual evidence. It's just a list of the evidence.
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And judging by the amount of boxes she has in her place, I have a feeling there's a lot.
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A feeling? Oh, don't tell me you won't open it on ethical grounds?
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I'm not sure what I'm going to do.
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- What is with the insane moral code in this family? - Yes, we did it.
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We're getting rid of the Ten Commandments. The granite ones in front of the courthouse.
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You know, all it took was the threat of a lawsuit.
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You're involved with those protesters now? When did that happen?
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Oh, who can remember.
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Lindsay's involvement began hours before...
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when, leaving the plea hearing, she first determined...
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the Ten Commandments didn't belong there.
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And they won't even allow me one lousy cigarette!
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Honey, they're just heels. They can only support so much weight.
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I've always been very passionate about the separation of church and state.
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- What are you gonna do with them? - Give 'em to a school.
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Can we let another family bring down the Ten Commandments?
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This family's already done more than its share.
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Oh, now you love the Ten Commandments.
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And yet, you're the one who so conveniently forgot "Thou shalt protect thy father...
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and honor no one above him unless it beith me... thy sweet Lord."
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I'm not sure that one made it down the mountain, Gob.
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- I told you someone would get hurt. - If I knew it was you...
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- I wouldn't have been so worried. - Hey, what happened to you?
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He was trying to help some handicapped girl up to the bleachers, and he fell.
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It's just a sprain. But at least it's legitimate.
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Ah, le clumsy adolescence. It's a phase we've all been through.
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Except for me. I was like a cat. I always ended up on all fours.
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- Like a cat. - Wait a minute. They don't have ramps at your school?
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- Well, not up the bleachers. - You should threaten to sue.
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- It's free if it's just a threat, you know. - Hey, that's a good idea.
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No one's gonna sue anybody. I'm not gonna have my son...
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start abusing the legal system like the rest of this family.
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After all, we're gonna need it for years to come.
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And that's when Michael decided to do the right thing.
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So what do you think? Do we have a case against this idiot family or what?
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Well, that's actually why I wanted to talk to you, Maggie.
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You see, uh, it turns out that I am actually one of those idiots.
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I might even be the main idiot. Well, I'm not the main idiot, but I'm the idiot in charge.
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Yeah. I'm Michael Bluth. Okay?
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And I want you to know that I never opened up this folder.
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And if you could see my face...
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uh, you'd see how sorry I am that I lied to you.
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You feel sincere.
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Damn it. I have spent the last five hours hating you...
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ever since I found out you were Michael Bluth in court.
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- What? How did you know? - I'm blind, Michael.
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- I'm not stuffed up. - You smelled me.
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- I smelled you, baby. - Maggie, why didn't you tell me at your house?
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And why did you give me this folder?
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I was manipulating you. This isn't the real list.
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- This is a wish list. - I can't believe you set me up.
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Well, you lied to me. Chareth Cutestory?
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I know."Thou shalt not make up a name in vain."
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But, you know, I walked into that court, and I saw you there...
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- and... this can't happen, right? - You're damn right this can't happen.
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Look at me. This could get me... Are you actually looking at me?
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- Yes, I am. - Okay. I could get disbarred for this.
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And your dad would have to spend tons more time in prison.
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I gotta tell you something. The thing that really gets to me is...
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that I keep hearing that Michael Bluth is so... cute.
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Well, I know Maggie Lizer is adorable. You don't know what you're missing.
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- Really? - Really.
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- So what are we gonna do? - I guess we're just gonna have to go our separate ways...
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- and agree to never speak about this again. - That is probably best, huh?
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The least you can do is buy me a drink.
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Hmm. Yeah. I'll stay for one drink.
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The next morning, Michael, once again, found himself at Maggie's.
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- And once again, berated himself for the mistake. - Oh, no.
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I'm supposed to be at the prison to talk to my dad in half an hour.
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- I can't believe we did this again. - It was so stupid.
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Incredibly stupid. It's like we're making naughty sex even naughtier.
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Oh, no. I was supposed to be at the prison to talk to my dad a half an hour ago.
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Oh, this is bad. This is really bad.
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This is the second most unethical thing I've ever done.
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- We cannot pretend that this didn't happen, Maggie. - Or that it won't happen again.
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- You think it's gonna happen again? - You tell me.
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- Let's just assume that it will happen again at some time. - Right. Right.
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We just need to, you know, acknowledge this and keep it private...
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- and I don't think that there's anything wrong with that. - Right.
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I have a job, you know? I'm trying to keep a man in prison.
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Right. And that man happens to be my father.
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- This could get ugly. - Well, it's like the Ten Commandments saying.
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- "Be true to thine own self, and to thine own self..." - "Be true." Yeah.
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- Number seven. - We'll just have to keep it a secret.
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- Our secret. - Our dirty little secret.
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- I think I'm ready now. - All right.
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Okay.
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Thirty-two minutes earlier, Gob, Lucille and Barry met with George Sr.
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- Where did you get this? - They don't call me a sleight-of-hand artist for nothing.
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Gob had switched out the file while his siblings discussed the Ten Commandments.
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I've always been very passionate about the separation of church and state.
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- What are you gonna do with them? - Give 'em to a school.
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Can we let another family bring down the Ten Commandments?
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Now you love the Ten Commandments.
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Apparently, there are boxes of it at the prosecutor's house.
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I tracked down the address, and you should be thanking me for this.
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Michael didn't want you to have it. Mr. Moral.
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Mm. Yeah, we did something right there, huh?
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- So what do you think, Barry? - l-I haven't read it.
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I had a really interesting date last night.
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A woman who actually works two jobs.
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Well, it certainly looks like they've got a lot on us.
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- Mm-hmm. - Uh, you. I was raising the children.
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When was the last time you raised children?
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Excuse me? I've got two in the waiting room right this moment.
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In fact, Buster and Annyong...
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Lucille's newly adopted Korean child, were waiting.
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Wow. I wonder what they're talking about in there?
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- They don't tell you anything, huh? - They tell me things.
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It doesn't matter though, because Dad is gonna be in here a long time.
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No. We have court day today.
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They take plea. Daddy come home. You out.
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Annyong had hit a nerve, and Buster recalled...
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that right before George Sr.'s arrest, he'd made a similar threat.
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I said he could wear that tie. It looks better on him.
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- No, no. Let me help you with that, son. - Oh.
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Hey, enjoy yourself tonight, because you are out of here.
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I'm not gonna spend my retirement watching you wipe your nose on your sleeve.
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- I can't breathe, Dad. - Neither can I.
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I haven't seen half this stuff...
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but they've got these kind of documents, uh, we've gotta get rid of this.
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If you're thinking of stealing the evidence, that is a very big offense.
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l-I think I'm gonna say that I signed myself out about 10 minutes ago.
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You're right. You can't afford to get caught.
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I don't need my lawyer in prison. We'll have Gob break in.
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I don't think that I can afford to get caught either.
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Good point. You might want to change out of that sweater.
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Tell me again why this isn't wrong.
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Look. We are just... we're two adults. We've got absolutely nothing...
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- Cops. Hide. - Ms. Lizer.
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- It's Officer Kelley. - Oh, hi.
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Your office has asked me to come pick you up. It's a surprise.
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- I just winked. It's a surprise witness. - Oh, great.
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- Um... - How are we doing?
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I'll just put my dog inside, and then I will be right with you.
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I'll take the dog, okay? I've already missed my meeting. You go ahead.
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- Just put him through the doggy door. - Okay.
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- And, uh, I'll see you in court. - Yeah.
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- My dad's not gonna put himself in prison for life. - Yeah.
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- Bye. Kiss. - Oh.
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And Gob decided to pass offhis break-in assignment to Tobias.
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Hey, there's the cat. Sorry you couldn't have been down at the prison with us.
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- Dad was asking all about you. - Oh. I doubt that very much.
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Look, I'm not gonna lie to you. He feels you've been sucking off this family far too long.
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If you don't start pulling your weight around here, it's gonna be shape up or ship up.
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You know, try as I might, I cannot seem to impress that man.
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Isn't that funny... ... I'm about to knock his socks off again.
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Yeah, I'm gonna break into this house that's got a bunch of evidence in it.
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just to borrow it. Ensure his freedom forever.
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But, it's a tough job. Might require some agility.
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But, it's a tough job. Might require some agility.
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This kind of agility?
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Let's go, little man.
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Michael, meanwhile, had decided to see what life in Maggie's world was like.
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All right. Okay.
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All right. Okay.
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- Okay. - This guy's the real deal. He's on the inside.
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- But, he's got some demands. - This could be the break we wanted.
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- This is District Attorney Lizer. - All right. What do you want?
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Uh, l-I want immunity for me and my mom...
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and I want my dad to stay in prison.
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- Also, can you send Annyong back to Korea? - Huh?
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- Hey! - Justice!
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Meanwhile, Maggie's interrogation of Buster was proving fruitless.
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Do you know anything about your father's trips overseas?
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I knew I'd have a fun time at home alone with Mom.
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Fine. Did you ever see him return from these trips...
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- with anything unusual? - Yeah.
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He came back home once with a black statue...
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with an erect penis.
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It stayed in our living room until my aunt objected.
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What about business associates?
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- I have none. - All right.
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This guy's wasting our time. Take away his grilled cheese.
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Wait, wait, wait, wait.
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If it's evidence you want, I know where they keep it. According to my brother...
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there are boxes of evidence in a house on Scenic View Drive.
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- Isn't that where you live? - Yeah.
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And I'm headed there now.
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Tobias, meanwhile, had used his catlike agility...
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- to get the evidence at Maggie's house. - The cat is in.
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Unfortunately, it was just as Maggie came home.
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Is there someone here?
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Tobias, concerned about Maggie's heightened sense of smell...
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set off to cloak himself in her scent.
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- And Michael was at the vet's office. - Justice is fine.
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- Great. - Although, dressing him up like a seeing-eye dog...
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- seems a little cruel. - Cruel?
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Well, yeah, because he can't see.
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What are you talking about?
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Mr. Bluth, Justice is blind.
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justice cannot be blind, Doc.
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He's got a handle and everything. Come on, boy.
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Maybe his peripheral isn't great...
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but he's been leading a blind woman around.
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I think she's been leading him around.
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But that would mean that Maggie isn't blind.
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- but had been pretending to be... - Son of a bitch.
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since she found it helpful in taking the LSATs.
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"D." "B" places fourth.
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- "A"? - Finding it a tremendous boon to her professional life...
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- Maggie continued the ruse. - I submit into evidence this wine glass...
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with the defendant's fingerprints.
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Don't worry. You're so ahead.
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Her ability to see, however...
15:55 - 15:57
was currently proving a disadvantage...
15:57 - 16:00
as she couldn't reveal to the man she recognized as Tobias...
16:00 - 16:03
that she knew he was there without betraying her secret.
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And Tobias was finding her an uncannily difficult blind girl to outmaneuver.
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Their game of cat and mouse continued.
16:26 - 16:28
Until Michael showed up to return Justice.
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Oh, Justice, what is it, boy? What is it?
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Is there some jackass in my bathrobe?
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Oh! I can't see!
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And later, the family gathered at the courthouse to respond to the plea offer.
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They don't have a case against us. I took care of everything.
16:53 - 16:57
- Something smells wonderful. - Well, thank you.
16:57 - 17:01
Would that I could say that I wore it to impress you...
17:01 - 17:04
but, no, I'm afraid it's merely a cloaking agent from a sadly blunderous afternoon.
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Who else have we got? What about Buster?
17:10 - 17:13
Worst-case scenario he gets caught, no more Buster.
17:13 - 17:17
I'm not going anywhere. You're the one who's staying put.
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Not me. You.
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What's gotten into you? Have you been eating cheese?
17:22 - 17:26
Outside the courthouse, Surely Fünke was addressing the crowd.
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George Michael prepared to confront her about it.
17:32 - 17:35
Not just to me, but to all handicapped kids out there...
17:35 - 17:38
who are sick and tired of sitting in the front rows at basketball games.
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George Michael spotted his father...
17:42 - 17:45
and not wanting to appear to be abusing the legal system, found a place to hide.
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Michael, determined to expose Maggie, hid to avoid tipping his hand.
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It was then, however, that Lindsay's advocacy group had their big moment.
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Hey, George Michael, what are you doing here?
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I just thought I'd come down and see the family. See everyone.
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- Oh. - That's why I'm here.
18:09 - 18:10
Well, pal, you don't need to do that. You can head on home.
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Why don't you go help that handicapped friend of yours?
18:13 - 18:15
- She kind of lied to me. - I was recently lied to myself.
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And for what it's worth, George Michael, you cannot let people get away with that.
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It's just so hard to know what the right thing to do is.
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I know it. It's not like there's some list of rules...
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- handed down to us from on high. - No.
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Watch your head.
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So Michael set out to expose in court that Maggie wasn't really blind.
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- She's right there. What are we gonna do? - I got a plan.
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Your Honor, the purpose of a court of law is to find the truth...
18:49 - 18:52
which is why witnesses swear on this.
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After all, they sayjustice is blind.
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Surely, she has enough sight to catch the truth...
18:57 - 19:02
before it hits her in the face.
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Objection, Your...
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Unfortunately, Maggie had been temporarily blinded that day.
19:07 - 19:11
- I can't see! - Bailiff.
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That was my plan. What do you got?
19:14 - 19:15
So George Michael decided to once and for all put an end to Surely Fünke.
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- I need to talk to you. - And this is the man who inspired me.
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George Michael Bluth.
19:24 - 19:28
He is the one who is responsible for the new ramps at our school.
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And he will carry on my legacy and put an end to B.S.
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- Surely can beat this thing. - No more B.S. No more B.S.
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And Michael reunited with Maggie, who had been kicked off the case.
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I really thought you were lying to me. I am so sorry.
19:51 - 19:54
Michael, I've been doing this blind act thing for years. It's wacked.
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- Are you going to admit that you were faking it? - I think I'm gonna go for...
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"I was struck by the Bible and it restored my sight."
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So what about us? We were starting to establish some trust...
20:07 - 20:12
except for all the lies.
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You know, I was originally looking for something completely uncomplicated.
20:14 - 20:17
Yeah. Me too. Forget it. This is so over.
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You know, we're saying good-bye, and this is actually the first time...
20:20 - 20:23
that I feel that you can really see me.
20:23 - 20:25
Yeah.
20:26 - 20:28
We're just two people staring at each other...
20:28 - 20:32
fully exposed in a court of law.
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justice!
20:51 - 20:54
On the next Arrested Development.
20:54 - 20:56
Barry gets a sign from God.
20:57 - 21:00
I will obey your will. I will lead a good life.
21:00 - 21:03
Well, the hell with this then!
21:05 - 21:07
And Maggie is replaced with a new, less generous, prosecutor.
21:07 - 21:11
I was made to understand there were grilled cheese sandwiches here.
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