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Episode 1x12 - "Marta Complex"

Director: Joe Russo

S1E12: 2625

Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything...

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and the one son who had no choice...

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but to keep them all together.

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It's Arrested Development.

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It was Michael's sister's anniversary. - Hi.

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He'd convinced his mother to throw a party for her.

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Lindsay, how's this for an anniversary cake?

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Anniversary? You asked me to throw a Valentine's Day party.

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- Did I? - You tricked me.

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I deceived you, Mom. Tricked makes it sound like we have a playful relationship.

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Touché. Lupe, untie the balloons!

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Michael, all alone on Valentine's Day?

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How's that possible?

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You seem like such a romantic to me.

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l- l-I can just see you showing up on some lucky girl's porch...

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in a tuxedo with a bottle of champagne.

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Yeah. Well, if I show up with all that stuff...

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I could probably just get away with shorts and a T-shirt, right?

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Which is good 'cause I don't even have a tuxedo.

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So you're saying there's no one you're even interested in?

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In fact, Michael had become enamored of Marta...

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when Gob was having second thoughts about the relationship.

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- I've made a huge mistake. - But when Gob recommitted to her...

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- I've made a huge mistake. - Michael decided to do the noble thing and let her go.

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There was somebody for a while, but it was too much of a brother... bother.

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That can't feel good.

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It's fine. I'm over it. I'm okay by myself, you know?

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I really just want to focus on my family's happiness.

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That's why I threw this party. I mean, 14 years, huh?

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You've got to be doing somethin' right.

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Well, if you call not filing for divorce "something right."

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- But I guess we keep it interesting. - Where's Tobias?

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He's on the balcony having margaritas with Carl Weathers.

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Tobias had recently hired actor Carl Weathers as a drama coach.

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Do you see me more as the respected dramatic actor...

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or more the beloved comic actor?

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Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! There's still plenty of meat on that bone.

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You take this home, throw it in a pot. Add some broth, a potato...

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Baby, you got a stew goin'.

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Yes, that's fine. But I would like to focus on my acting, Mr. Weathers.

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I did give you my last $1,100.

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Let me tell you a little story about acting.

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I was doing this Showtime movie, Hot Ice, with Anne Archer.

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Never once touched my per diem.

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I go to craft service, get some raw veggies, bacon, cup of soup...

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Baby, I had a stew goin'.

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I think I'd like my money back.

02:31 - 02:34

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Like his father, George Michael had been nursing an impossible crush.

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It was on his cousin, Maeby.

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And with no one to talk to, he was looking for some kind of direction.

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just give me a sign.

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First one's obvious. Okay.

02:53 - 02:57

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He continued to look for a sign.

02:58 - 03:01

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- Until finally... - "Maybe tonight."

03:01 - 03:04

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What are the chances?

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and the chances were one in eight.

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- What are you doin'? - Just tryin' to throw stuff at my dad's head...

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- but the wind keeps taking it. - Oh, cool.

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So, I, uh... I found this.

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I thought it was like a one-in-a-million thing. It just made me think of you.

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- Oh, perfect. - Trying to make my relation...

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- I saw that. - And Lucille...

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found a way to force a wedge into her son's relationship.

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Lucille, guess who's coming to dinner?

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I've invited Carl to dine with us next Tuesday.

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Mother, you know I have class on Tuesday.

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Oh, how silly of me.

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Well, then perhaps the two of you can have dinner alone.

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Oh, well, I never say no to dinner, with a beautiful lady that is.

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- Do you like ham? - No. I love it.

03:51 - 03:55

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And the family gathered to watch a videotape...

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George Sr. had sent Lindsay and Tobias for their anniversary.

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Hello, I'm George Bluth...

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and for the next 45 minutes...

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let me take you on a journey...

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Good grief. He sent us one of his idiot videotapes.

04:13 - 04:16

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First this... - You've seen George Bluth on videotape.

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You have got to learn to be alone.

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I cheated and I lied. And I whored around.

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Caged Wisdom changed my life.

04:26 - 04:29

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Now is your chance to own the entire George Bluth Caged Wisdom library...

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for only four payments of 19.95.

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- This was supposed to be my anniversary toast. - Yeah.

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And this was supposed to be my Valentine's Day party.

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Speaking of which...

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Lupe, where are those balloons?

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You want balloons?

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Speech, speech, speech...

04:49 - 04:52

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{Joining In] Speech, speech, speech, speech, speech...

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speech, speech, speech speech...

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- Come on, speech. - Speech, speech, speech, speech...

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The family continued to chant, "Speech, speech, speech'...

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for no one in particular.

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- Speech, speech... - All right.

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Speech.

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After all that, I was kinda hoping somebody would make a speech.

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- Speech, speech, speech... - All right, all right, all right. I'll say something.

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- Typical. - We've all had a tough couple of months.

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I think we're all really figuring out who we are...

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and what we really need in life.

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And that can be painful.

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However, you can't really heal yourself until you stop living a lie, you know.

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But, uh, l-I promise that we're all gonna be a lot happier in the long run.

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So, on a very unusual Valentine's Day...

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cheers to Mom and Dad, to Buster and Lucille...

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- Don't forget my girlfriend. - That's who I meant.

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- Don't forget my girlfriend. - That's who I meant.

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To Lindsay and Tobias, to George Michael and...

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I almost said George Michael and Maeby.

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- Oh. - Um, to Gob and Marta.

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- Mmm. - To love and happiness.

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I love you all, Marta.

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And Marta realized it was Michael, not Gob...

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who had everything she had been looking for in a man.

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I made a huge mistake.

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I was thinking about that toast you gave at my anniversary party.

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- So, I want to get a divorce. - What?

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Do you think I should use our attorney, Barry, or just kind of bolt in the night?

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I'm leaning toward bolt in the night, but...

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Whoa, whoa, whoa. Lindsay, I wasn't talking about getting a divorce.

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Oh, Michael. It's time.

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The man's psychologically incapable of taking all of his clothes off.

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In fact, Tobias was a never-nude.

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As of yet, the D.S.M. -IV has not acknowledged the affliction.

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I don't know, Lindsay. I mean, who am I to judge?

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On the other hand, I am doing it anyway...

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so let me suggest before you talk divorce, at least consider a separation.

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- You know, you do have a kid. - I know.

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I was gonna take her with me in the night. She's part of the bolt.

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Lindsay.

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All right. I'll think about it.

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- Hello? - Hey, brother.

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I just want to tell you how much I enjoyed your speech yesterday.

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You know, about family and... and being true to ourselves.

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Oh, well, I'm... I'm glad it made an impact.

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Yeah. I never want to look at Mom again.

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What happened?

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Well, I can't really talk. She might be listening in.

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Do you know she tried to set up my girlfriend with a man?

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This has to stop.

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You know, that's not really what I was going for.

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I'm a man, Mike! I'm a man.

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Can I throw out this yogurt?

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Buster, two things.

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First of all, I think it might be time for you to move out, you know?

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Secondly, you don't want to take any chances with yogurt, Mom. Just let her throw it out.

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- He-Hello? Who's on this phone? - Hey. Huh?

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- Michael? - Hey.

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- Great speech last night. - Oh, really? What did it inspire you to do, kill somebody?

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Getting there. Marta's cheating on me.

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- What? - Yeah, can you believe that?

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That's crazy, Gob. She's not a cheater. If she were to cheat, I'd like to think she'd cheat...

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- You're the cheater. - That's how I know all the signs.

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Last night she was all distant and weird.

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Wouldn't let me make love to her on Mom's bed.

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I don't even want to tell you what she wouldn't let me do to her in the car.

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And then today, I overhear her talking on the phone about somebody all super silently.

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All in Spanish.

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In fact, Marta was on the phone with her mother talking about Michael.

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Hermano.

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She kept using this guy's name, like, "Hermano."

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Let me tell you something. We're gonna track this "Hermano" down, and we're gonna nail him.

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'Cause if anyone's gonna go out with that girl, it's gonna be one of us.

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- Right. Me. - And I'm okay with that.

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I don't get it. Why do we have to change rooms?

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Cousins of the opposite gender shouldn't be sharing a room.

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But that's just the point. I mean, we're cousins. Gender has nothing to do with it.

08:52 - 08:56

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I mean, cousins can bunk together. That's why they call it "bunkin' cousins."

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- "Kissin' cousins." - We're not kissing! That's the point!

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George Michael was concerned that Tobias had seen the candy heart...

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that said "Maybe Tonight"and had figured out that he had a crush on his cousin.

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Besides, I don't even care. You said share a room with her, I shared a room with her.

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Now you're saying don't share a room with her. Fine. I'm just doing whatever you say.

09:12 - 09:15

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You know, the adults making all the decisions around here. Why am I in trouble?

09:15 - 09:19

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You're not in trouble. We're all just gonna have a more normal arrangement.

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I'm gonna sleep with my daughter, and you're gonna sleep with my husband.

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Buster had taken Michael's advice and decided to confront his mother.

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"Because you know I don't appreciate how you treat me.

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I am not a child, Mother."

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Blow.

09:43 - 09:45

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No, Mother! I can blow myself.

09:45 - 09:48

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And you have interfered for the last time.

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Fine. Go! Move out.

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So, Buster loaded up his possessions...

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and emancipated himself from his mother.

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Oh, hey, Buster. I thought you had class.

10:17 - 10:20

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I thought you had class. My brother-in-law fires you...

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- and you move in on my girlfriend? - Come on now. Wait a minute.

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This is purely a social call. You know, just two adults gettin' a stew on, man.

10:25 - 10:29

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I don't know what that means, but it sounds disgusting.

10:29 - 10:32

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Hey, Buster. Gee, I thought you had class.

10:33 - 10:35

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I thought you had class!

10:35 - 10:38

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I want to move in with you.

10:39 - 10:41

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I'm tired of my mom trying to control me.

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Wait a minute. Are you sure you're doing this because you want to be with me...

10:44 - 10:49

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- and not because you want to get even with your mother? - This isn't about my mother.

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Besides, it's the only way I'm ever gonna get her to respect me.

10:53 - 10:56

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Buster, this is exactly why our relationship does not work.

10:56 - 11:00

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- Our relationship doesn't work? - Not as long as you keep getting me mixed up with your mother.

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It is exactly the opposite.

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I'm leaving my mother for you.

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You're replacing my mother.

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You need some time.

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Huh?

11:13 - 11:15

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Meanwhile, Michael was following Marta to confirm...

11:35 - 11:39

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Gob's suspicions about her affair.

11:39 - 11:41

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First, he saw her buy a present at an exclusive men's store.

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The trail then led Michael to the set of Marta's Spanish language soap opera.

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Excuse me. I'm looking for "Hermano."

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-? Mi hermano? Ahi. - Mmm.

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- There, in the green? Great, thanks. Gracias. - Mm-hmm.

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"Hermano."

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- Are you "Hermano"? -? Mi hermano?

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Es ahi.

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- That's the guy who just... - Mm-hmm.

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Son of a bitch.

12:11 - 12:13

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Hey.

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Marta.

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I had to see you. He moved out.

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Moved out? Buster did?

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- I know it's for his own good, but I'm worried. - He's gonna be fine.

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I'm not worried about him.

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I've never lived in the apartment alone.

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- I'm not sure I'm up to this. - All right. Shh, shh, shh.

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Listen. I know you think I'm going after the $49...

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but I want... I want you to watch a little Caged Wisdom.

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- Not this garbage again. - There is joy in solitude, Lucille.

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Try being alone. l-l-It just might make you happier.

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Honey, my happiest times here are alone.

12:59 - 13:02

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Hey, Bruno, any chance that the hole is available between 4:00 and 6:00?

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I don't even want to know what that means.

13:09 - 13:11

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With nowhere else to go, Buster arrived at the model home.

13:11 - 13:14

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- Buster Bluth. - Hey, Brother-in-law.

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Good news. Carl got me an audition.

13:17 - 13:20

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- Carl Weathers? - I think the world is about to fall in love...

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with "Frightened Inmate #2."

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Well, at least he gave you something. Carl Weathers took everything from me.

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My entire life just came crashing down, and it's all his fault.

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I will never love again.

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- Hello. - Oh, my God.

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- Is everything okay? - And suddenly...

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Buster realized Marta was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

13:41 - 13:44

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I've been dating an old lady.

13:44 - 13:46

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Is Michael here?

13:46 - 13:48

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- l-I don't... I don't know where he is. - In fact...

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Michael was just returning from his day of following Marta.

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Well, I lost her.

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- Michael. - Marta.

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- I'm so glad I caught you. - You caught me?

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- Yes. - Oh.

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First of all, thank you so much for the lovely party...

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and for making me feel so welcome in your family.

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- Yeah, sure. - We love you!

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Can l... Can I stay here for a little while?

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Everybody's already sharing a bedroom but me, Buster.

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Oh, perfect.

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So, I was hoping you might have some time to talk.

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There's something I need...

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- Maybe we could have dinner? - Hello.

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She's at the house. She's at the house!

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- One second. - I'm gonna speak very carefully in case she's with you.

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- You're right. - Right about what? She's there?

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What's going on? Who's with you? If it's Marta, say "nobody."

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- Nobody. - Well, now I don't know what's going on.

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So, did you find out anything? l-I'm dying here, Michael.

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- D-Did you find that guy? What's his name? - "Hermano."

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- "Hermano." - Is that your brother?

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Hmm? No. He's upstairs, remember?

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Listen, I gotta go. Somebody wants to take me out to dinner.

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- Somebody? - Nobody.

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- Why don't I just come in? I'm right outside. - No, no. Not... Not a good idea.

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Somebody wants to talk to me about something.

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Ah, she wants to talk to you. Got it.

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Maybe because you've only had sex four times.

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Four women! Not four times! And they talk to me because I talk to them.

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Look, go to dinner. Let's get to the bottom of this "Hermano" stuff, brother.

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- Yep. Great. - Great.

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Hey, about dinner, I'd love to.

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Tobias arrived at his audition for "Frightened Inmate #2."

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The competition frightened Tobias, which he felt he could use in his performance.

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Unfortunately this made him more confident...

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which frightened him again.

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I'm ready.

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That night, Maeby moved in to Lindsay's room.

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Isn't this fun? It's like a slumber party.

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Hmm.

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That's it! Tell me what's up with you and Dad.

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Nothing. Nothing's wrong with your father and me.

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We have a... a wonderful, close relationship.

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Can I let you in on a little secret?

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Hmm? Having him in the next room makes me miss him all the more.

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Mom, please. He's got a big-boy crush on Action Jackson.

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I know. How can I compete with that?

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Okay. We're having a little fight right now.

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But don't worry, darling. Okay?

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Mommy and Daddy aren't going anywhere.

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Okay. I'm gonna go unpack my suitcase.

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No! We may have to bolt.

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Tobias moved in to George Michael's room.

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Maeby and I were cool with each other. And you must miss your wife.

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It's practically still your anniversary.

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Fourteen years of lies.

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Yes, I'm the doctor. The perfect husband.

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The big manly man. The big strong daddy.

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Do you know the last time that I made love to my wife?

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- No. - I'll tell you when.

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- No, don't. - See, nothing has ever been easy for us.

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I mean, the only reason she went out with me was to piss offher boyfriend.

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The only reason she ever married me was to piss off her mother.

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And then, of course, we couldn't conceive. So there was that famous ordeal.

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Wh-What do you mean you couldn't conceive? Was Maeby adopted?

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What? Is she not really related to me? Is she just some girl I know?

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Ah, it's Carl Weathers. Yes, Carl Weathers.

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I did? That's... That's wonderful.

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That's...

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Huh! I booked it! I booked the acting job!

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Did you hear that, Lindsay? You could have been sleeping with "Frightened Inmate #2."

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And Lucille was experiencing being alone for the first time.

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Unable to sleep, she decided to watch TV.

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You have got to learn to be alone.

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she could turn up the volume as loud as she wanted.

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Caged Wisdom teaches you that you have to find thejoy within yourself.

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And that's when Lucille realized...

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that shejust might like being alone after all.

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The next night, Michael had dinner with Marta at her house...

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hoping to finally get the answers he was looking for.

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So, um, about Gob. How's that goin'?

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finding out who you really are, it can be painful.

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- But you can't live a lie. - No, I can't.

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Yes, but sometimes working at something...

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it's a way to not deal with some other thing.

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But he who often suggests...

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uh, working on another thing...

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- which when the first thing is not... - Will you excuse me for a moment?

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Yes. Sure.

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- What the hell is he talking about? - What is she talking about?

18:50 - 18:54

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- Can I have a piece of cake? - And Michael saw an opportunity...

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to get the information he wasn't getting from Marta from her son.

18:57 - 19:00

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I'll tell you what. I got... I got a deal for you, partner.

19:00 - 19:03

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I'll give you what you want...

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if you give me what I want.

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Tell me everything you know about... "Hermano."

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-? Hermano? - Does your mother love "Hermano?"

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Si, mi hermano.

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- He's here? - Shh. He's sleeping.

19:20 - 19:23

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- Don't go in there. - Why? Is there something you don't want me to see?

19:25 - 19:29

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- What are you talking about? - We can keep going around in circles...

19:29 - 19:32

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but maybe one of us should just come out and say what it is we want to say.

19:32 - 19:34

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You're right.

19:35 - 19:37

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- It's not working with Gob. - Why doesn't he know that?

19:37 - 19:40

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You know you could have just come out and told him...

19:40 - 19:42

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you know, instead of lying and sneaking around, moving on to the next guy.

19:42 - 19:45

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I didn't think you were that kind of a person. I thought you and I shared the same values.

19:45 - 19:49

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I thought you and I could've been, uh...

19:49 - 19:52

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No, forget it. Eh... I don't know how I had you so wrong.

19:54 - 19:58

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You're right.

19:58 - 20:00

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I should have told him before I invited you here.

20:01 - 20:03

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This can never be.

20:05 - 20:08

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Then he noticed the gift he had seen her buy.

20:11 - 20:13

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- What does "te amo" mean? - I love you.

20:27 - 20:30

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Hmm.

20:30 - 20:33

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And who's in there?

20:33 - 20:35

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Mi hermano.

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Brother.

20:41 - 20:44

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I've made a huge mistake.

20:44 - 20:47

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On the next Arrested Development.

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George Michael begins an investigation.

20:50 - 20:52

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So, you wanna go to the movies? Ow!

20:52 - 20:55

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I'll let you know when I get back from the lab.

20:55 - 20:58

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Tobias faces his greatest acting challenge.

20:58 - 21:00

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There's a shower scene? I have to be nude.

21:00 - 21:02

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Well, you don't shower with your clothes on, now, do ya?

21:02 - 21:05

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And Buster rebounds from Lucille 2.

21:06 - 21:09

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- Yo te quiero mucho. - Yo te quiero mucho.

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Te amo, Marta. Te amo.

21:12 - 21:15